Player Table Review: I Can’t Stop Flipping, I Won’t Stop Flipping

player-table-review:-i-can’t-stop-flipping,-i-won’t-stop-flipping

Player Table Review: I Can’t Stop Flipping, I Won’t Stop Flipping

I have two monitors on my desk. Normally the one on the left is reserved for professional chat, and the other one I use for writing and browsing the web. But lately something else has been popping up in the corner of my left monitor: Player’s Tablea new idle coin flip game available now on Steam that I can’t stop playing.

The aim of Player’s table involves clicking on a piece to flip it. And then flip it again. And then again. And again. And again. When this coin lands with the currency symbol facing up, you get a dollar. When he lands head-up, showing a skull, you get a skull point which can be used to buy hats.

Don’t worry about that. Just keep flipping. Soon you will have enough money to buy a second coin to flip. And then a third room. A fourth piece. That’s a lot of coins to toss on your own!

Don’t worry, Player’s table has little minion men you can buy who will also flip coins for you. As you accumulate more money, you can purchase upgrades that make coins flip faster and increase their profit per toss. Eventually you will get silver coins. And gold coins. Before long, you’ll be waving your cursor to toss dozens of coins in seconds, thanks to an upgrade that removes the need to click. Earn enough money and a skill point will be provided to you, providing a powerful permanent upgrade. Then you can clear the entire table to start again, earning even more money and getting another skill point in the process. Repeat…forever?

Part of me understands that what I’m doing is crazy and that I’m only doing it because, like so many players, I need to see the numbers go up. And yet I keep flipping coins, accumulating a huge amount of money, clearing the table of all coins and minions, and starting again. Every now and then I stop and use my skull points to buy a new hat for my servant. It’s my reward for them to flip coins. Then I catch them resting at work and have to give them a hard whack to get them back to work. The pieces don’t turn over by themselves, you know? We all have a job to do here Player’s table.

In fact, I’m wasting a lot of time right now writing this when I could be over there on my other screen flipping coins. My servant boys do it. But if I helped them, things would go much faster. So I’m done talking to you Player’s table. I don’t have time to tell you about its incredibly smooth animations and wonderful coin tossing sounds. I also can’t talk about the sillier upgrades that will be available later and the wonderful effect that happens when you clear the table for a new run. I have coins to flip, dammit. Now leave me alone.

Editor’s note: In the hours since receiving this blog from Zack, we have not heard from him. Emails and text messages were ignored. His wife called and told him the door to his basement office was locked, but she could hear a click and what sounded like someone humming “Flip…flip…flip…flip.” We hope Zack returns soon.

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