At its core, prayer is simply talking to God. There is no “right” or “wrong” way to talk to God, but there are attitudes, habits, and traditions that can guide you toward a healthy relationship with God.
The most important thing about praying is simply that you do it! As basic as it is, praying can be strangely difficult to do. There are many possible reasons for this, but to overcome any resistance you feel toward prayer, take a moment now to talk to God. Your prayer could be as short as: “God, help me learn to pray.
Even when you pray something simple, God hears you. He listens every time.
“I love the Lord, because he has heard my voice and my cries for mercy” (Psalm 116:1).
Recognize your obstacles to prayer
Before we discuss some practical ways to begin praying, we need to uncover some objections or obstacles to prayer. The answers are different for each person and may be shaped by your past experiences, your ideas about God, your ideas about yourself, and other factors.
Make some notes to explain the obstacles that you think make prayer more difficult for you. There are some common factors that prevent people from praying. Maybe you’re busy and don’t know when you can fit prayer into your already busy life, or you want to pray properly but don’t know how. Some want to show respect to God and do not want to offend Him by praying incorrectly.
For those who grew up in the church, you heard prayers always led by others; they may be formal or pre-written, and you don’t know how to pray without these resources. Those prayers in your church can be long, moving, and eloquent, and you don’t know how to replicate that, especially when you’re not feeling emotional.
Sometimes you stop praying even though you were praying a lot, because you felt like it wasn’t “working.” Maybe something very bad happened, even if you prayed it wouldn’t. or maybe you’ve done something really bad and you don’t know how to show your face to God anymore.
This list, or the one you wrote, can be overwhelming. The good news is that you don’t need to worry about all these problems now. Recognizing them is a big step, and you can let God deal with them in His own time and way.
Here’s another opportunity to say a super-simple prayer to share these concerns with God. You can pray in your own words or say something like this: God, I recognize that these obstacles make prayer seem difficult to me. I give them to you now. Please take care of it at your own pace and in your own way.
Adjust your attitude toward God
“Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that in due time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties upon him, because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:6-7).
The most important ingredient when talking with God is not the words you speak. It is the heart with which you say them that counts in the eyes of God. Actually, he doesn’t always expect you to say words.
Think about the human relationships that matter most to you. You know that the way you speak and your heart in saying it has a greater impact than using the right words to say what you say. This is even more true with God, because he understands your heart and your motivations better than any human.
Persistence
Why are some of our requests from God “answered” (answered the way we asked) and others not? This is an eternal and universal question, and it has to do with our attitude toward God when we ask it.
Jesus told the story of a widow who needed justice. The judge in his town was generally mean and he didn’t jump at the chance to help someone who was helpless and probably penniless. But she pestered him until he conceded. Jesus pointed out that if an unjust judge helped someone who kept asking, how much more would God help?
Persisting in prayer demonstrates belief in the character and power of God. It may seem counterintuitive to keep asking when you’re not getting “results.” But you know you’re talking to the only person who can do something about your situation. The widow believed that her local judge had the authority to dispense justice. God says, “I have both the power and desire to help you. So continue to come to me with your needs.”
Humility
The most important attitude to adopt when you pray, and in your approach to God in general, is humility. You’re not expected to have all the answers or do everything right. Recognize that you cannot pray well enough to impress or persuade Almighty God; come to him as a child would.
Right after telling the story of the persistent widow, Jesus told another story about attitudes in prayer. A man told God about his good deeds and thanked Him, saying he was “not like the ungodly tax collector.” Nearby stood the publican, bowing before God, saying simply: “May God have mercy on me, a sinner.” » Jesus said that one man went away justified before God, while the other remained unchanged.
How to pray: practical ways
When it comes to “how” to pray, the possibilities are endless. Below are some ideas for you to think about and experiment with. As you try new ways to pray or seek to overcome obstacles in your relationship with God, consider that what you need most is to find a way to pray today. You don’t need to know how to pray for the rest of your life.
Planned prayer
Christians around the world and throughout history have set aside times to pray daily or several times a day. Those who find prayer somewhat difficult may appreciate setting aside short times to pray throughout the day. Try praying for a few minutes with your coffee in the morning and for a few minutes during your evening commute or before you go to bed.
Try to start with the Lord’s Prayer. This is a pretty foolproof way to pray “the right thing,” because Jesus wrote it. Again, this is a practice adopted by Christians since the very beginning of the Church. So, by repeating these words, you join in the eternal prayer meeting in which God is present and listening.
Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread,
And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
For yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory,
Forever and ever. Amen.
As you read or recite, look for a line that makes you think about your life or those you care about. Maybe your finances are tight and you’re thinking, “I don’t know where my daily bread comes from.” Then pray in your own words: “God, please provide for my family. All we need is provisions for today.” Most of us probably need to pay extra attention to “not leading ourselves into temptation” on a daily basis!
You can pray as long or as briefly on these topics as you want or have time.
Resources for Planned Prayer:
- Divine Hours by Phyllis Tickle is a collection of daily prayer books. They include prayers from several traditions, such as Catholic, Anglican and Orthodox. Poetic and powerful prayers mingle with Scripture readings.
- The hour that changes the world by Dick Eastman is designed to help you diversify your prayer life. You can use it to pray for 12 minutes or for an hour. It covers aspects of prayer that are often overlooked, such as “watching” and praying for other countries.
Unexpected prayer
Praying regularly at set times of the day will go a long way in training your mind to turn to God throughout the day when you don’t intend to pray. And sometimes the sweetest, most meaningful moments with God are the ones we didn’t expect.
Your emotions can become triggers for prayer.
Joy and thanksgiving in prayer
When you see something beautiful or funny, you can say quietly (or loudly!) Thank you, God! My family sometimes notices something beautiful in the world, like a beautiful sky, and we say: Good job, my God! These simple phrases draw our attention to God and recognize His work in our lives. Don’t overlook the importance of these little prayers. God is a father and he loves it when his children say a happy “thank you” to him when he has done something for us.
Fear and anxiety in prayer
One of the most effective ways to grow in your prayer life is to learn to connect your fear, worry, or anxiety with prayer. Imagine if every time you worried about something, you also prayed! That would be a lot of prayer.
Choose a scripture or prayer to bring to mind each time so you don’t have to think about the words when you’re emotionally distraught. Try this one:
Lord Jesus Christhave mercy on me, sinner. (Learn more about Jesus’ prayer)
This prayer is a theologically rich SOS People shouted it to Jesus as he passed by, whether they needed help getting rid of a demon or regaining their sight. And you can silently or loudly raise this prayer to God when you need help of any kind. You can follow up with your own expression of need if you wish.
Resources for Unscheduled Prayer:
- Practicing the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence. A short collection of thoughts on how and why to pray throughout the day, written by a very gentle and friendly monk.
- Screw letters by CS Lewis. It is not generally considered a book on prayer. But when you want to view your whole life as an opportunity for prayer, this book helps you see how the spiritual world intersects with the things of everyday life.
Infinitely more could be said about prayer, if time and space permit. Prayer is as limitless, timeless and life-giving as God himself, because it connects us to him. May God lead us to a richer and more consistent prayer life so that we can know him better.
Photo credit: Unsplash/Diana Simumpande