The first time a Christian leader failed me, I was just a little girl. I clung to my faith voraciously. I was hungry to serve the Lord with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. But their betrayal within the Church took me by surprise. Quickly, I learned that even the best Christians are not God. And learning to rebuild trust in God after they’ve let us down can be tricky.
Today, leaders fail us all the time. In Christian circles, this is no exception. It seems like week after week an artist denounces their faith, an author says they deconstruct, and major leaders confess to affairs, abuse, and horrific crimes. These accusations and confessions take us by surprise. These were people we trusted. Admired and stabilized our faith, perhaps even. Unfortunately, their failures are not uncommon.
The hard truth is that leaders who let us down will impact us and continue to impact us for the rest of our lives. There will never be a day when a pastor, celebrity, teacher, friend, or family member will not let us down in some way this side of Heaven. Although some are more serious than others, it reminds us that when our confidence crumbles, it is time to evaluate and potentially reevaluate our allegiance. When leadership failures hit us spiritually, it is less about what they did and more about how we respond as the body of Christ.
Why disillusionment hurts so deeply
One of the main reasons these disillusionments hurt so deeply is the attachment, authority, and placement of our spiritual identity. Make no mistake: it is good and healthy to trust and admire spiritual leaders. We were not created to live alone. But our allegiance belongs to Jesus Christ alone.
Your attachment belongs to Jesus Christ and His Word.
Your authority belongs to Jesus Christ and His Word.
Your spiritual identity must be rooted in Jesus Christ and His Word.
All of these things must be rooted in Jesus and His Word, not the leaders who tell you about Him. Because even though they play a role in your spiritual journey, it is Jesus who saves and redeems us. Leaders can lead and disciple us well, but only Jesus will never fail or forsake you.
When we have a healthy relationship with attachment, authority, and spiritual identity, we can then remember that God is our ultimate place of safety. As Catholic Bible Press notes: “Whenever people let us down, we can remember that we have a Lord who will never do the same. Our God is infallible, unwavering, unchanging – and in that we can always find peace.”
Second, when these leaders fail us, we can choose to put our hope in Jesus. Human leaders will continue to disappoint us, and some may even try to mislead us (even unintentionally). As Sojourners adds, “Politicians will not be who they say they are; bosses will try to grow at your expense; small group leaders will be woefully oblivious; pastors will let you down. Christ will not do it. Trust Him as Lord, as your leader, to walk with you in whatever you are going through, to guide you through this journey of life. Trust Him as your healer, to bind up the wounds, to soothe the scars, to heal the trauma Trust him as your restorer, the one who sought the lost and never gave up on wandering.
What the Bible Says About Fallible Leaders
Once we have learned to align our devotion, authority, and spiritual identity, it can be helpful to look to the scriptures for examples of leadership. Unfortunately, the Bible is full of broken leaders, from David to Noah and Abraham. But the beauty of these stories is that each one is honest and authentic. Scripture does not attempt to cover up these failures; instead, it shows that God can redeem anything and anyone who humbly comes to Him in their trespasses.
David was known as a man after God’s own heart. He was emotional, kind and hardworking. He was a courageous young adult who stood up to Goliath when no one else would. But he also committed adultery. He slept with another man’s wife, then placed that man on the front lines of a battle to be killed. He was a good leader, but he also had his faults.
Noah was obedient in building an ark. Even when rain was nowhere in sight, he chose to listen, obey, and believe what the Lord told him. Noah warned the people, but when the flood came, only his family and a few animals survived. But after all that, Noah got drunk.
Abraham would be the father of many nations. God had blessed him. He believed it. But even though God told him that he and his wife Sarah would have a son, he took matters into his own hands. He slept with Hagar, Sarah’s servant, and created a real problem. Abraham nevertheless became a great leader, but not without mistakes.
I share these three examples to show that fallible leaders are more common than we would like to admit. This doesn’t excuse their behavior, but it helps us remember that today’s leaders are human, just like everyone else.
How to separate God from people
One of the worst effects of leadership failure is that people fall away from the faith. To this, I want to be clear that we must learn to separate our God from His people.
Christians have a tremendous privilege and honor to share the name of Jesus. We must be like Him. The word “Christian” literally means “little Christ.” But unfortunately, because we live in a broken and fallen world, we often fail. We should not judge Christ and Christianity based on His people not acting like Him, and we should not even judge Him based on the best Christians we know. Because only Christ is perfect, and only Christ will never fail us.
As Nadia Bolz Weberan American author, Lutheran pastor and public theologian, reflects on the role of the Church: “People don’t leave Christianity because they stop believing in the teachings of Jesus. People leave Christianity because they believe in the teachings of Jesus so much that they can’t stand to be part of an institution that claims to be about that and clearly isn’t.”
Bolz-Weber’s words remind us all: If we want others to be radically transformed by the truth of the gospel, we must act as Christ alone. We must build our lives on Jesus, not even on the best leaders he has given us to direct or teach us.
Practical steps towards healing
If you feel hurt by a leader today, I want to encourage you to anchor your faith solely in Christ. Although leaders are of the highest value, they are not Jesus himself.
Second, I encourage taking time to grieve. My advisor often says that he hates the statement that “time heals all wounds” because it simply isn’t true. Time alone does not heal. But learning to grieve and process things over time instead of pushing them away or ignoring them is a way to healthily work through our pain.
Once you have taken time to reflect and grieve, reflect and set appropriate boundaries wisely. This might look like limiting the number of articles you read from leaders or choosing to read the Bible and any commentaries or commentaries first. devotions second. Rebuilding trust with those around us requires boundaries and discernment moving forward, but it also involves ourselves and our individual walks with the Lord.
Finally, remember to engage in healthy conversations at church. Stay away from gossip and don’t add to conversations that only add fuel to the fire. Proverbs 18:21 puts it this way: “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit” (KJV).
It is possible to rebuild and recover from leaders who have failed us, but it requires rebuilding a mature faith rooted in Jesus Christ alone. As you rebuild your faith brick by brick, remember this: Leaders are good and come from God, but they are not God himself. Base your faith and religion on Jesus Christ and His Word only. And represent Him to a world that desperately needs to see the true, authentic Word of God lived out.
Prayer
Dear Jesus, when the great leaders of the faith fail us, help us to be wise. We are not asking to be naive or to ignore horrible events, but to remember that trust can be restored. Show us what this looks like in practice and also remind us that what matters most is our trust and our personal relationship with you. Even the best leaders will fail, but you never will, and that is an eternal promise we can cling to. Help us to model your life and love well for others, and to be leaders who remain faithful to your Word. In Jesus’ Name we pray, Amen.
Photo credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/Keith Lance
