A few years ago, my wife and I decided to put together an IKEA bookcase. We followed the instructions, deciphered the diagrams, and spent hours working on each screw and bolt with the little tools provided in the kit. When we finally stood back to admire our work, a wave of irrational pride washed over us. It wasn’t pretty. It was particle board, but it was ours. We built it with our own hands and we loved it more than furniture that cost ten times as much.
We moved this flimsy bookshelf from apartment to apartment while in college, and then from house to house when we got real jobs. He still lives in our basement today. It survived not because it was well made, but because we took ownership of it.
Researchers have a name for this: the IKEA effect. Psychologists Michael Norton, Daniel Mochon, and Dan Ariely found that people assign significantly greater value to things they helped create, even when the end product is objectively mediocre. A little friction – a little sweat with an Allen wrench – transforms something disposable into something we keep for life.
I think there is a profound lesson here about how we approach faith formation with young people.
From Buckets to Tool Belts
For a long time, youth ministry has operated according to what I call the “bucket theory” of faith: adults have the knowledge, and our job is to pour that knowledge into the empty buckets of young minds. Sermons, programs, Bible studies, etc. are all designed to move content from those who have it to those who need it.
But research tells us that this model does not produce the expected results. Kara Powell and the Fuller Youth Institute’s “Sticky Faith” research found that young people who are given opportunities to express doubts and wrestle with difficult questions are far more likely to carry their faith into adulthood, while those in more passive content-streaming environments are most likely to leave.
I discovered this same dynamic while researching my new book, “Faithful Futures: Sacred Tools for Engaging Younger Generations.” Our nationally representative Future of Faith study of more than 2,000 people found that 67% of teens report growing spiritually when someone listens to them share their beliefs without judgment, compared to just 33% who report growing spiritually when hearing a sermon (Future of Faith, “Sacred Listening, Deeper Faith,” 2025). Young people grow more in faith in articulate what they believe by to be told what to believe.
It’s the IKEA effect at work. The faith that young people help build when they express, question and shape in their own words is a faith they are far more likely to keep.
What if, instead of filling buckets, we offered young people a tool belt? What if our role as ministry leaders was less about providing the right answers and more about creating the conditions in which young people could build their own relationship with the Divine?
Try this: the question wall
One of the simplest and most powerful ways to put this into practice is an exercise called Wall of Questions. It’s part of a suite of free sacred listening tools we’ve developed at Future of Faith specifically to meet the needs we’ve seen in the data that young people grow in faith when they are truly heard, not just taught.
Here is the configuration: designate a wall or a large painting in your youth area. Provide sticky notes and markers. Invite youth to write down any questions they have about God, faith, doubt, meaning, or anything else that comes to mind. Questions are posted on the wall anonymously. Then, rather than answering the questions yourself, lead a conversation in which the group explores them together. Your job is to listen, ask follow-up questions, and resist the urge to “resolve” the doubt or provide the correct answer.
Let the questions rest. Don’t rush to solve them. When a young person writes, “Why does God let bad things happen?” » they are doing sacred work by naming the true territory of their spiritual life. Honor that. Revisit the wall regularly and let questions accumulate over the weeks. Young people will begin to see that their questions are shared and that the community takes their inner life seriously.
What makes this exercise so effective is that it moves the young person from being a passive recipient to being an active disciple. They build their own faith, and the IKEA effect kicks in: they appreciate it more because they helped create it.
Invitation
The question wall is just an example. You can find this tool and many other free sacred listening resources at futureoffaith.org/sacredlisteningtools.
In a world where young people are drowning in content but craving connection, the most radical thing a ministry leader can do might be to stop talking and start listening. You might be surprised by the faith they develop when you hand them the tools.
You can learn more about Josh Packard’s latest book, “Faithful Futures: Sacred Tools for Engaging Younger Generations” (Baker Academic, 2025), at “A Faithful Future” Page.
The image shown is of Studio Bermix on Unsplash; photo of “Faithful Futures” provided by article author Josh Packard
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Josh Packard (he/him/his)
