Spring is known as the time to clean our homes, go through closets, and get rid of unnecessary items. Likewise, it is a good time to delve into our souls and get rid of the unnecessary things that we carry within us year after year.
One of those weights that many of us carry is regret. Studies show that regret is the most common negative feeling experienced by humans.
In a national situation investigation Asking what regrets a typical American experiences, researchers found 13 common sources of regret, with romance leading the way, followed by family, education, career, finances, parenting, health, “others,” friends, spirituality, community, hobbies and self.
Some regrets are easier to put aside and move forward, like the thought that I shouldn’t have worn that dress or those shoes today. Or why did I eat all the cookies?
Other regrets, those that seem more life-changing, are much harder for individuals to accept later. Because hindsight seems 20/20, we often see situations more clearly looking back than when we actually experienced them. It’s a type of vision that often leads to deep feelings of regret.
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How to start cleaning
Unfortunately, regret constantly taunts us with thoughts of “what if” and “if only I had or not.” It pushes us to relive and replay in our minds the moments we missed or missed.
Unfortunately, these constant words of regret can take a toll on our lives, as research indicates that failing to come to terms with past regrets can affect how we deal with stress and current situations.
There is hope, however. Even though regret tells us that we have lost, the word of God tells us: “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us” (Romans 8:37).
So how can we move past the “what ifs” in life? How can we find peace and contentment in the way life has gone so far? Here are seven ways to get started.
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1. Remember God’s grace and mercy
Pre-licensed therapist Gretchen J. Penner ASW, specializing in the treatment of trauma, anxiety and depression, strongly believes in self-compassion and says: “In order to let go of regrets, we must offer ourselves the same compassion and love that Christ gives us. »
Penner describes self-compassion as accepting our humanity with its imperfections, realizing, as Romans 3:23 declares that we all fall short of the glory of God. “If we are perfect and never make mistakes,” she explains, “then we have no need of the cross, of Christ, or of his love and mercy. »
As Psalm 23 tells us how God’s grace and mercy will follow us all the days of our lives, Penner explains how “self-compassion means we accept God’s love and mercy.”
She offers us an image of what that might look like, of a long cape or train wrapped around our waist following us, erasing our mistakes. When we look back to see our steps and the mistakes we have made, we do not see them because God’s grace and mercy have covered and erased them.
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2. Admit any disbelief
Romans 8:28 tells us, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28).
Because God assures us of His ability to make things right for us, regret is often rooted in unbelief, a lack of trust in God to actually do what He says He will do with all things in our lives.
Instead, we often choose to repeatedly believe regret’s accusations that our lives could have been better if only? Believing that we made mistakes and missed something, leading us to think that what we did or didn’t do would have made things turn out differently.
So what can we do with this type of unbelief? We can confess it and ask God to help us overcome our unbelief (Mark 9:24). 1 John 1:9 explain“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. »
We can choose to trust God to work all events in our lives for good, including regrets, even when it seems impossible. We can choose to believe what Jesus told us, that all things are possible to him who believes (Mark 9:23).
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3. Let go of regrets
Matthew 6:34 urges, “So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Every day has problems enough.”
The movie And Bob, with Bill Murray, tells the story of a man paralyzed by his fears and phobias who decides to take a vacation away from his problems. Weighed down and overwhelmed by his problems, he begins by taking “small steps,” a technique that his therapist advises him to do.
As Bob follows his therapist’s advice, his problems quickly disappear because instead of dwelling on his fears and anxiety, he faces them and focuses on living life to the fullest.
Even better than taking “small steps,” God urges us to “Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you. » (1 Peter 5:7).
God invites us to confide all our regrets to Him, offering us relief from the weight and burdens, allowing Him to carry them for us. As Psalm 55:22 encourages, “Cast your cares on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken. »
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4. Receive the peace of God
Regret keeps peace away, the very opposite of what God wants for our lives. Jesus tells us, “Do not let your heart be troubled. You believe in God, believe also in Me” (John 14:1).
One way to receive His peace is to dwell on God’s word rather than regret. Rather than letting regrets keep creeping into our minds, we can focus on what God offers us. Scripture reassures us that God’s peace is available to us when we are willing to receive it.
- “Those whose spirit is steadfast you will keep in perfect peace, because they trust in you” (Isaiah 26:3).
- “Let the peace of Christ reign in your hearts, since as members of one body you have been called to peace. And be thankful” (Colossians 3:15).
- Peace, I leave you; My peace, I give it to you. I don’t give you what the world gives. Do not let your heart be troubled and do not be afraid” (John 14:27).
- “I have told you these things, so that you may have peace in Me. In this world you will have difficulties. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).
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5. Move beyond regrets when possible
In areas where regret torments us, it is okay to reach out where there may be opportunities to right a wrong. Things like apologizing to people we have hurt, forgiving those who have hurt us, and much more.
If we have broken our promises to others and kept our word, we may wonder if we can make up for it.
Because God reconciles the world to Himself through Christ by not counting our sins against us, He has also given us the ministry of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:19).
Through it, we can move beyond regret when we have the capacity, opportunity or power. However, we must also realize that when that is not an option, we can trust and believe that God works things out in our lives and the lives of others.
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6. Learn from past regrets
Can anything good come from regret? Is it possible to learn from this?
Penner, in his discussion of self-compassion, describes how it helps us take a compassionate view of why we made the mistakes we did, saying, “Sometimes we need to ask ourselves, ‘Did I do the best I could with the information I had at that time?’ »
She reassures: “It’s very often easy to look back and judge our decisions with the information we have today, but didn’t have then. We can only do our best with the information we have at the moment.”
As 2 Corinthians 4:7 reminds us, “But we have this treasure in pots of clay to show that this surpassing power is from God and not from us.”
In the future, we will no longer need to depend on ourselves or our own knowledge to make decisions; we can rely on the power of God to help us and work through us.
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7. Move forward with confidence
The remarkable story of Joseph in the Bible illustrates how we can move forward with confidence in life rather than dwelling in regret.
Scripture does not speak of Joseph facing regret, although he had plenty of room and opportunity to experience it. He might wish he hadn’t told his brothers about his dream or worn his flashy coat with them. His actions could have weighed him down for the rest of his life, causing him to wonder, “What if I hadn’t done these things? Maybe my brothers wouldn’t have sold me into slavery?”
Yet, years later, he summarizes his views on his brothers’ actions towards him. “You intended to harm me, but God wanted it to be good to accomplish what is currently being done, saving many lives” (Genesis 50:20).
Like Joseph, we can believe that God wants good in our lives. We can also choose to trust Him to help us rid ourselves of regrets and to give us a new perspective on His collaboration for our well-being.
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Lynette Kittle is married and the father of four daughters. She enjoys writing about faith, marriage, parenting, relationships, and life. Her writing has been published by Focus on the Family, Decision, Today’s Christian Woman, kirkcameron.com, Ungrind.org, StartMarriageRight.com, and more. She holds a master’s degree in communications from Regent University and is pr associate producer for TV soul check.
Originally published on Thursday April 9, 2026.
