Are you going through a divorce or a big life change? This article is for you.
Anna Anissimova Schäfer is a dynamic entrepreneur, philanthropist and accomplished actress known for her diverse work in film. She is the founder and director of Ana Vera Films, a production company focused on compelling, character-driven storytelling.
In addition to her work in entertainment, Anna is the co-founder of BEOan organic skincare line rooted in clean, intentional living. (Lauryn loves it lip tint And facial oil.)
Deeply committed to giving back, she serves on the Make-A-Wish Gala Committee, is a Baby2Baby Angel, and serves on the board of directors for the La Maida Project, which supports initiatives focused on children’s well-being and mental health.
Today, Anna is here to talk to us about her experience with divorce and how it transformed her identity and her life.
With that, let’s welcome Anna to the blog.
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Three years ago, my life changed in a way I could never have fully prepared for: I went through a very complicated divorce.
For over a decade, my identity was deeply rooted in being a wife and mother. And while these roles remain the most meaningful parts of my life, I suddenly found myself asking a question I hadn’t asked in a very long time: Who am I outside of that?
What followed was one of the most difficult, emotional and transformative chapters of my life, leading me to navigate motherhood, shared custody and rediscovering myself not only as a mother, but also as a woman, creative and again as an individual.
Divorce doesn’t just change your relationship status, it reshapes your entire pace of life.
One of the biggest adjustments for me was the guard. Going from having my three kids with me all the time to a 50/50 schedule was like my heart was split in two. The days without them were heavy, too calm, too still. I didn’t know what to do with the space.
But over time, something changed.
I began to realize that these quiet moments were not just emptiness, but opportunity. Opportunity to reconnect with parts of myself that have been on hiatus for years.
I returned to acting. I started writing again. I started creating, dreaming, and entering rooms that reminded me of who I was before life became so full of responsibilities.
And yet, the scales are always… complicated.
Because even when I’m on set or in meetings, a part of me always thinks about my children. Am I present enough? Am I doing this correctly? Am I giving them everything they need? Are we co-parenting well?
There is this constant dance between ambition and guilt, independence and responsibility.
But what I understood was this:
Being fulfilled as a woman makes me a better mother, not a worse one..
My children don’t need a perfect version of me. They need a whole one.
What was interesting was that my life was changing, BĀEO too.
We initially launched BĀEO in 2018 as an organic skincare line focused on children. At the time, it was very rooted in motherhood, creating something safe, gentle and comforting for our families.
But after my divorce, something changed for me personally.
As I began to navigate a new chapter, I began to think more about identity, self-care, and what it meant to create something not only for my children, but also for myself. Around the same time, my co-founder Sarah and I found ourselves naturally evolving the brand. We began to reimagine BĀEO into something more inclusive, reaching beyond kids to create multi-use essentials designed for women, families, and anyone looking for simple, thoughtful skincare.
Although I didn’t fully realize it at the time, looking back, BĀEO’s evolution seems deeply intertwined with my own. It was less about taking care of everyone else first, and more about stepping into my own identity, while still maintaining the nurturing foundations that started it all.
In many ways, BĀEO has grown alongside me and us.
This journey has been a rollercoaster.
Watching my kids navigate it was one of the hardest parts. Little ones often want to stay with mommy more, and that breaks my heart in ways I can’t fully explain. I myself cried in my sleep several nights.
But ultimately, I remind myself: They deserve to spend time with both parents. And above all, they deserve two happyhappy parents.
There are good weeks and difficult weeks for all of us. I am learning to accept that this too is part of life.
5 lessons that helped me throughout this chapter
1. You have the right to grieve, even if you have chosen to divorce.
There is a misconception that if you are the one who left, you don’t feel the loss. This is not true. You are mourning a life, a vision, a version of yourself. Let yourself feel it fully.
2. Your identity can change.
You are not just one role. Not just a mother. Not just someone’s partner. You are constantly becoming and that is a beautiful thing.
3. Quiet is uncomfortable…until it becomes necessary.
Time without my children seemed unbearable. Now I consider it sacred. This is where I rebuild, reflect and reconnect with myself. That’s not to say it’s easy because truth be told, it still doesn’t feel natural, but it’s part of both their journey and mine.
4. Guilt will try to run the show. Don’t let him.
Mom’s guilt is strong. But choosing your growth, your career, your joy, that doesn’t take anything away from your children. This expands what they can witness.
5. You can hold two truths at once.
You may miss your children deeply. And enjoy your independence.
You may feel broken And build something new.
Life after divorce is not black and white, it is complex, messy and incredibly human.
I’m still on this journey, still learning, still evolving, still searching for what balance really looks like. But I have come to believe that I am exactly where I need to be.
Right now, I’m focused on BĀEO development, acting, project development, and writing stories that reflect this beautifully complicated chapter in life.
I have two films coming out this year, How hard can it bewith Jack Kesy, Matt Barr and Kate Flannery, and The floristwith Dennis Quaid and Jean Reno. I’m also directing my first short film and developing a story about my grandmother based on a book we wrote together, Eternal winterwhich will be released later this year.
And at the center of it all are my children.
They adapt, just like me. Some weeks are good, others are difficult. But I think that’s the truth of life: we grow through it all.
If you’re experiencing a similar season, just know that you’re not alone. Not even a little bit.
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Life has huge stages and changes, sometimes good and sometimes bad. What are some things that have helped you through life transitions? Let us know all about it below.
Make sure to follow Anna And BEO on IG to follow life after divorce and new drops from our favorite new non-toxic beauty line.
x, The Skinny Confidential team
The position Life After Divorce: How to Rebuild Your Identity and Career appeared first on The skinny confidential.
