Have you ever had difficulty coping with change? I know yes. Moving from high school to college, or from college to the real world, for example, I was often filled with uncertainty. Luckily, I’m not the only one who feels this way.
Fear of change is a universal experience. Even those who welcome or adore change will face periods of transition that bring discomfort, such as career changes, heartbreak, relationship difficulties, moves, health problems, or spiritually dry seasons. Even if we trust God, change can still be terrifying. But what if we learned to view change as a means by which God deepens our dependence on Him? What if it was this uncertainty that He used to refine our faith and redirect us to Him?
Why does change seem so difficult?
From the outside, change disrupts comfort and control. Even when we adapt or change our schedules for a good reason, we are creatures of habit. Human beings crave predictability. When we disrupt this predictability, anxiety often increases. That’s why those who go away to college, start a new job, or go through an unexpected transition may experience increased stress and unpleasant emotions. According to Psychology Today, even those of us who want to change can struggle:
“As human beings, there is often this tension: we crave novelty, growth, and possibility, and at the same time, we want familiarity, predictability, and security. This tends to create an internal conflict: part of us wants to evolve, while another part of us wants to stay exactly where we are. This dichotomy is part of what makes change so difficult.”
Hanley-Dafoe goes on to say that 7 things contribute to this difficulty:
- Personal history with change – No matter how you grew up, if you experienced an unpleasant memory associated with change, it will impact how you approach it in the future.
- Perception of change– While some people idealize change, others fear it. It’s this disconnect between reality and dream that causes a lot of anxiety.
- Change is not an event– Unfortunately, change is not a defining moment, but something that happens again and again in our lives.
- What is known and unknown– Even though there are some things we know, we cannot know everything. Our brain favors the familiar and avoids the unfamiliar.
- Ego– It is difficult for us to admit that something is not working and needs to change. Realizing this can feel like a threat to our body.
- Revision perception- Many people think that change requires a complete life overhaul. This belief can be intimidating and prevent us from making even simple changes in our lives.
- How it is measured– Change is not about dramatic results, but about steady progress over time. If we measure change poorly, we will pursue it less and less.
Beyond these 7 contributors, we know that change is not only familiar to us, but also to our faithful ancestors and friends. Even faithful people have faced uncertainty, from Moses, Naomi and David to Peter and Saul (Paul).
Moses was called to lead Israel out of slavery. Naomi lost her husband and sons and was forced to start her life over. David was the most unlikely winner, but he became king. Peter followed Jesus, then rejected him, then found his way back to him. Saul faced a profound spiritual transformation and became a whole new person. So, if we’re not the only ones experiencing change, what does the Bible actually say about it?
What does the Bible say about change?
In Malachi 3:6we read these words: “I, the Lord, do not change. So you, the descendants of Jacob, will not be destroyed” (NIV). What I love about this scripture is that even when circumstances and others change, God never changes. Life will continue to be unpredictable at times, but God is stable and secure. Hebrews 13:8 said: “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever” (NIV). We may not welcome change with open arms, but we can be sure that God often works through transition. No season is wasted on Him, and that includes seasons of change because He remains the same even when life doesn’t.
- God called Abraham to leave home.
- God called the Israelites to cross the desert.
- God called Saul to become Paul.
- God called David from being a shepherd to being a king.
Time and time again we find that change is not evidence that God has abandoned us, but that He is with us even here. Even in uncomfortable or strange places, He works all things together for our good and His plans for us:
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. » – Romans 8:28NIV
Change can still be scary, but Isiah 43:19 encourages us to see the beauty: “See, I am making a new thing! Now it is springing up; don’t you see? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wilderness” (KJV).
How to Trust God During Major Life Changes
Although major life changes are inevitable, here are 4 ways to trust God during these changes:
1. Bring your honest emotions to God
When change knocks on our doors, many of us close our doors. I know yes. But instead of curling up in your shell, pray to God. Express your discomfort and be real with Him. We see emotional honesty in Scripture for a reason.
2. Focus on Daily Obedience
While most of us want to know the next five-year plan for our obedience, God rarely gives it to us. What He requires, however, is our daily obedience to know the big picture. God often gives the “next best step” and not the complete road map. Trust Him daily, knowing that He provides for that day.
3. Stay Rooted
During times of change, maintain consistency in your spiritual life. Implement spiritual practices you can rely on, such as scripture reading, prayer, community, and rest. Then, when you feel overwhelmed, remind yourself what you can control.
4. Let change deepen your faith
Instead of allowing change to take you away from God, let it bring you closer to Him. Choose to grow through discomfort and be sanctified. God does not want change to destroy your faith, but to deepen it. It’s going to be uncomfortable, but embrace the process. Choose to plant your roots firmly and grow.
If you’re having trouble managing your anxiety during change, remember to separate what you know. Avoid catastrophizing about the future and practice remembering who God is, even in these difficult times. If you need extra support, there’s no shame in that. From counseling to mentoring to church community, others are here to support you on your journey. Although I don’t know all the changes you will encounter this side of Heaven, I do know that God is always faithful in the unstable seasons. Change can change our circumstances, but it cannot separate us from the presence of God. We are called to trust God one day at a time. I do not know and do not trust the next five-year plan. How can you choose to trust Him today?
Photo credit: ©Getty Images/LaylaBird
