If you want someone to convince you to stop using social mediaI’m not your daughter. I won’t tell you to delete Instagram, limit your TikTok use with a timer, or condemn the company for making it such a big part of our lives. While there is nothing wrong with these approaches – and each has its own advantages – I share a different point of view.
Social media is already integrated into our lives and I’d rather spend my energy learning how to use it well than pretending it’s disappearing. The goal is not perfection. It’s about maximizing rewards while minimizing risks.
How can we achieve this? Positivity on social media. I share how to increase the feel-good effects of social media (they exist!) and give you tips to help you feel more connected, more empowered, and more inspired every time you open an app.
What is social media positivity?
If you leave this article having learned one thing, I want it to be this: Passive social media use is one of the biggest contributors to the feelings of loneliness and dissatisfaction we often associate with our feeds. This makes sense, but it’s also backed by research. When we lurk, scroll for hours without interacting, or consume endless content without participating, we often end up feeling emptier than when we started.
Social media is supposed to be social.
Humans are wired for connection. We are social creatures, after all. When we use social media to connect on a deeper level, we feel less alone and it can really support our mental well-being. How we use social media has a huge influence on how we feel when we disconnect.
Don’t be a voyeur
A few years ago, I listened to an interview between psychologist and author Guy Winch and psychotherapist Esther Perel. Their conversation completely changed the way I think about social media.
One of Guy Winch’s key lessons is that loneliness doesn’t necessarily come from social media itself, but rather from the passive way many of us use it. We analyze the lives of others without commenting, posting or interacting. We observe instead of participate.
And that’s the key: connection requires interaction. When we simply look at everyone else, we miss the opportunity to be seen ourselves.
Use social media to connect
Commit, commit, commit.
If I follow you on social media, rest assured that you will eventually hear from me. Whether we’ve met once, haven’t spoken in years, or you’ve built an audience of hundreds of thousands, chances are I’ll leave a thoughtful comment or send a message.
I can’t consume without committing, especially after hearing Guy Winch’s point of view. It’s one of the reasons Diane Cari and I have an inside joke — and the reason I got my own book recommendation from Ryan Holiday.
Take it from someone who knows: constantly communicating and interacting with other people’s content (in a caring way that respects boundaries) transforms scrolling from something passive to something truly social.
And don’t underestimate the power of a DM. Some of my favorite conversations started because someone sent me a message that reminded them of me or responded to a story with a thoughtful comment. More often than not, these private interactions seem even more meaningful than what’s happening in the comments.
I promised myself a long time ago that if I see something beautiful, I won’t hold my tongue.
Spread positivity on social media
A genuine, specific compliment from your heart can change someone’s day, their week, or even change the way they view themselves. Remember: your words are powerful.
I promised myself a long time ago that if I see something beautiful, I won’t hold my tongue. Whatever you call the opposite of a social media troll (a social media fairy?), that’s what I aspire to be.
One of my favorite ways to spread that energy is to aggressively leave Google reviews (it’s a thing!) about local restaurants, cafes, or businesses that made my day a little brighter. We all have more influence than we think.
Limit social media around your loved ones
I am SO guilty of this. I often find myself parading right next to my husband in a zombie state without even realizing it. Time passes in a flash and I feel strangely empty, alone or disconnected. Sound familiar?
Researchers even have a name for this behavior: phubbing – snubbing someone in favor of your phone. This has been associated with lower relationship satisfaction and increased feelings of loneliness. Every time I realize I’m doing it now, I try to put my phone down and be where my feet are. Social networks will still be there later.
Use social media intentionally
Show the real you
There’s a quote I love from Arlan Hamilton, author of It’s timeit always reminds me how important it is to appear both online and in real life as my true self:
“Be who you are so that people who are looking for you can find you. »
We’ll never be able to capture our real lives on social media – and honestly, I don’t think that’s the point. Some moments are just too personal to share. Instead of trying to prove that life isn’t perfect, I think it’s helpful to share what’s truly meaningful to you. These real-life glimpses remind us that there’s always more going on beyond the square on the screen.
Use social media to get to know yourself better
Have you ever saved posts, videos or Reels and never returned to them? There is a a treasure of inspiration Waiting for you. From time to time, I revisit my saved posts, moving my favorite images to Pinterest, deleting ideas that no longer resonate, and paying attention to themes that keep resurfacing. It’s one of my favorite ways to better understand what appeals to me in a creative and personal way.
But here’s the important part: inspiration isn’t meant to live forever in your Saved folder. Let it become something: a recipe you finally cook, a room you redesign, a book you actually read, or a project you decide to start.
Teach your algorithm what you want
Every time you follow, save, comment, and hit “Not Interested,” you’re voting for what kind of internet you want to experience. Algorithms are not fixed: they constantly learn from your behavior. If your feed starts to feel anxious, negative, or just plain uninteresting, spend a week intentionally interacting with creators who make you feel curious, hopeful, grounded, or joyful. You might be surprised how quickly your online experience begins to change.
Educate yourself
One of my favorite things about social media is how much there is to learn. You might be discovering a new recipe one minute and diving into the latest NASA discoveries the next. Curating your feed with people who genuinely teach you something makes scrolling much more rewarding.
Use social media to express yourself
We each have a deep need to be seen and understood: it’s simply part of being human. Amanda Palmer says it beautifully: “There is a difference between wanting to be looked at and wanting to be seen. » Expressing ourselves and sharing pieces of our life can be a beautiful thing. There is no shame in wanting to contribute to the conversation.
Use social media as a creative outlet
Do you have a hobby that you are passionate about? Creating an account (or even a Substack, Pinterest board, or online community) around a niche interest can be incredibly rewarding. It is sometimes easier to find your colleagues online than in everyday life. I’ve started more side projects on Instagram than I can count, and I can confidently say that I wouldn’t be writing this article without these creative outlets.
Organize your experience
Unfollow Wisely
If someone made you feel funny or if their content no longer interests you, unfollow them. To be clear, I’m not suggesting you unfollow people just because they have different opinions than you. In fact, I try to practice the opposite. There is so much to learn from perspectives and experiences that differ from our own.
But trust your intuition. If someone’s content constantly makes you feel like your life isn’t enough or sends you into a spiral of comparison, you can let them go. Protecting your peace is worth it.
Share things that inspire you
Whether we realize it or not, we all influence someone. The question is not whether you have influence, but how you choose to use it. I came across some of my favorite books, artists, recipes, and ideas because a friend decided to share them online. I hope to do the same for someone else.
10 Ways to Get More Joy From Social Media
Think of them as tiny rituals. They’re simple enough to practice every day, but over time they completely change the way social media feels.
1. Set an intention before opening the app.
Ask yourself: Why am I here? To meet friends? Find dinner inspiration? Laugh? Learn something new? Going in with a specific goal makes it much easier to leave fulfilled rather than exhausted.
2. Leave a genuine review.
If something makes you smile, teaches you something, or inspires you, tell the creator. Thoughtful commenting is one of the easiest ways to turn passive scrolling into real connection.
3. Send a DM.
Share a post that reminded you of a friend, congratulate someone on a milestone, or simply connect. Some of the best parts of social media happen in private conversations.
4. Only save what you will actually use.
Instead of saving everything, ask yourself: Will it be realistic for me to come back? A smaller, curated inspiration collection is much more valuable than thousands of forgotten backups.
5. Tell the algorithm what more you want.
Like, save, comment and linger on the content that inspires you. Tap “Not Interested” when someone This thing sends you into comparison mode. Your feed is always learning from you.
6. Notice how your body feels.
Take a quick break halfway through scrolling. Do you feel full of energy? Curious? Tense? Envious? Calm? Your body often notices a change before your mind.
7. Share something because it makes sense, not because it will work well.
Whether it’s a favorite recipe, a beautiful walk, or a thought you can’t stop thinking about, let your posts reflect what matters to you and not what you think everyone wants to see.
8. Unfollow an account that no longer serves you.
People change. Interests change. You don’t owe anyone a permanent spot in your feed if their content constantly makes you feel worse.
9. Turn inspiration into action.
Cook the recipe. Read the book. Visit the cafe. Try training. Social media is at its best when it inspires your real life, not replaces it.
10. Know when you’ve had enough.
Close the app while you still feel good. The goal is not to get the most out of your feed, but to come away with something that adds value to your day.
Social media is neither good nor bad in itself: it is a tool that reflects the way we use it. When we approach it with more intention, generosity, and curiosity, it’s less about comparison and more about connection.
This is the version of the Internet I want to help create. And if that makes me a social media fairy, I’ll happily win the title.
The position How to use social media to amplify your joy, not your anxiety appeared first on Camille Styles.
