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One of the great privileges of the Christian life is not simply believing in Jesus but living in relationship with Him. Jesus didn’t just call people to follow rules or adopt religious habits; He invited them to friendship. “I have called you friends,” he said, “for all that I have learned from my Father I have made known to you” (John 15:15).
To know Jesus is to walk with him, to trust him and to join him in his redemptive purposes.
Being welcomed into the Kingdom of God is entirely an act of grace. Through Christ, believers receive forgiveness of their sins, are declared righteous before God, and begin a lifelong journey of spiritual growth. Like a seed planted in good soil, new life begins quietly, then grows steadily – roots form beneath the surface long before fruit appears.
The letter to the Ephesians was written to help believers understand who they are in Christ and how to live out that identity in maturing unity as the body of Christ. Paul’s emphasis on spiritual maturity was especially vital for believers living in Ephesus, a city steeped in pagan and occult practices. His call to “live a life worthy of the calling you have received” (Ephesians 4:1) was not an abstract theology; it was an urgent and practical instruction for Christians surrounded by spiritual darkness.
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1. Learn humility from the example of Christ
Ephesians 4:9 draws our attention to the depth of Jesus’ work on our behalf:
“What does ‘he ascended’ mean, except that he also descended into the lower regions of the earth?
Jesus did not rise to glory without first choosing humility.
The eternal Son of God came down from heaven, entered our broken world, and took on human flesh. He lived a sinless life, fully obedient to the Father and willingly submitted to God’s plan to redeem humanity by taking our sins upon Himself.
His lineage includes his suffering, crucifixion, death and burial. Jesus entered fully into human suffering and death. Yet his death was not a defeat. Scripture tells us that it was impossible for death to continue to take hold of him. Jesus rose again in victory, overcoming sin and death forever. As He later declared: “I am the living one. I am dead, but look: I am alive forever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and the grave” (NLT Revelation 1:18).
This victory is the foundation of our faith.
Eternal life is not assured by human effort, but by the finished work of Christ. Understanding Christ’s descent – His willingness to humble Himself for us – teaches us humility in our relationships. His ascension and gifts equip us to serve others. His victory frees us from self-protection and frees us from true partnership with Him and His people.
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2. Recognize the unique gifts you have to uplift others
In Ephesians 4:8Paul quotes a victory song from the Old Testament:
“When he went up on high, he took many captives and gave gifts to his people. »
This verse comes from Psalm 68:18which celebrates God as a triumphant king returning from battle. In ancient times, a conquering king led defeated enemies in procession and distributed the spoils of victory to his people. Paul uses this familiar image to help believers understand what Jesus accomplished.
What Israel once sang about God’s victory, Paul shows, has now been fulfilled in Jesus. The enemies of Christ are not earthly armies, but sin, death and spiritual powers. These forces, which once held humanity captive through fear and condemnation, have now been defeated.
Believers are not the captives of this procession: we are the beneficiaries of grace. Because Christ has triumphed, he now gives gifts to his people. These gifts are expressions of grace and not rewards of spiritual maturity or signs of superiority. They are given so that the Church may be strengthened, equipped and built up for God’s purposes.
Christ’s ascension brought practical gifts to his Church. Ephesians 4:11-13 names five: apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors and teachers. Their purpose is to equip, not to carry out all ministry, but to prepare God’s people for works of service. The goal is maturity: “that the body of Christ may be built up until we all come to unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature.”
Maturity is not optional; this is Christ’s design for his body.
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3. Developing Christ-like Character Promotes Unity
Paul begins Ephesians 4 with a call to live in a way that reflects our calling in Christ. He immediately became interested in relationships within the Church:
“Be completely humble and meek; be patient and bear with one another with love. » – Ephesians 4:2
These qualities are not personality traits; they are spiritual fruits formed by the Holy Spirit. Humility sets aside self-importance.
-Meekness governs strength with tenderness.
-Patience leaves room for growth, both our own and that of others.
-Love binds these virtues together, covering imperfections with compassion rather than criticism.
Paul continues: “Make every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (4:3). Unity is not something believers create; it is a gift of the Spirit. Yet it must be intentionally protected. Peace acts as a glue, binding believers together, not because we are perfect, but because we are forgiven and willing to forgive.
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4. Anchor your relationships in shared faith
Paul anchors unity in shared identity rather than shared preferences. He repeats the word A seven times: one signifying unity; seven mature photos:
A body. One Spirit. A hope. A Lord. Once. A baptism. One God and Father of all.
This unity is theological before being practical. We belong to the same Lord, are saved by the same grace and share the same hope. Differences in origin, personality or maturity do not cancel this shared identity.
5. Use your gifts and talents to serve others
Unity does not erase individuality. Paul says it clearly:
“But to each of us grace has been given as Christ has distributed it.” – Ephesians 4:7
Every believer receives grace, but not in the same way. Christ distributes the gifts according to his wisdom so that the body can function as a whole. These gifts exist for service, not status. When believers faithfully use their gifts, the Church grows in strength, stability, and maturity.
The goal of these gifts is spiritual maturity: becoming more like Christ, no longer easily shaken, but rooted in truth and love. Growth occurs as each part does its work, building the body in love.
Spiritual maturity is not just knowledge, it is stability rooted in truth. Paul warns: “Then we will no longer be children, tossed by the waves, and blown here and there with every wind of teaching” (Ephesians 4:14). Immature believers follow the latest trend or the most compelling voice. Mature believers test everything against Scripture and stay grounded in Christ.
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6. Grow in maturity by speaking the truth with love
Maturity requires truth and love working together. Paul writes,
“Rather, speaking the truth in love, we will grow into in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.” – Ephesians 4:15
The truth without wounds of love. Love without truth deceives. Neither produces maturity.
Speaking the truth in love means caring enough to be honest and being honest because you care. Address what is real while extending grace. Jesus modeled this perfectly: he never compromised the truth to gain approval, but his words were always motivated by love. He faced Peter’s denial, but restored it. He challenged the rich young ruler while looking at him with compassion.
Mature believers do the same. They don’t avoid difficult conversations to maintain a false peace. They don’t use the truth as a weapon to win arguments. They speak of what is necessary and redemptive, enveloped in a genuine concern for the good of the other.
This kind of true love holds the body together and reflects Christ himself. And we need each other to function properly. “From him the whole body, united and held together by each supporting ligament, grows and is built in love, as each part does its work” (Ephesians 4:16)
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7. Treat each other in a way that reflects Christ
The rest of Ephesians 4 shows what this new life looks like in everyday relationships. Paul gives details put back/put instructions that directly affect our relationships with each other:
Put off lying until later; put the truth.
“Speak honestly to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body” (4:25). Lying destroys trust. The truth constructs it. In the body of Christ, we owe ourselves honesty.
Delay uncontrolled anger; achieve rapid reconciliation.
“Do not sin in your anger: do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give hold to the devil” (4:26-27). Unresolved anger turns into bitterness. Deal with it quickly.
Delay taking; put to give.
“Let him who stole steal no more, but let him work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those who are in need” (4:28). Mature believers don’t just stop taking: they start giving.
Put off destructive words until later; put to build.
“Do not let any unwholesome word come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs” (4:29). Your words matter. Use them to strengthen, not to tear down.
Postpone bitterness; put forgiveness.
“Get rid of t all bitterness, wrath, strife, and slander, and all wickedness. “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you” (4:31-32). You cannot hold grudges and have the character of Christ at the same time.
These commandments are not personality adjustments: they are friendship skills trained by the Holy Spirit. They affect all relationships: marriage, family, church and the workplace. As believers push away the old me And put the newthey reflect the righteousness and holiness of God, living lives worthy of their calling in Christ.
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8. Walk with Jesus in friendship
At its heart, Ephesians is a letter of hope and belonging. God’s desire is not only to save individuals but to form a unified people who reflect His character in the world. Although the body of Christ may sometimes appear fragmented, God is at work bringing unity and maturity through his Spirit.
To be a friend and partner with Jesus means to trust in His finished work, submit to His loving leadership, and allow His life to shape ours. While believers have a role to play – turning from sin, growing in knowledge, and choosing obedience – the transformative power comes from God himself, “his incomparably great power for us who believe” (Ephesians 1:19).
The path to healthy friendships and relationships begins today
The Ephesians of yesterday and today remind us that unity is a gift and a maturity from God. The city is the work of God. As believers live out their common identity in Christ, walk in humility and love, and serve one another through Spirit-given grace, the Church becomes what God designed it to be: the Church. living expression of Christ in the world.
If you are new to the faith or tired in your walk, listen to this encouragement: you are not invited to perfection, but to relationship. Jesus calls you to himself, not to earn his love, but to receive it. He forgives, redeems, restores, and walks with you day by day.
Friendship with Jesus is not reserved for spiritually strong people; it is offered to all who come to him in trust. As you grow in knowledge of Him, you will also grow in unity with His people, in maturity in your faith, and in confidence in His grace. And together we become a people who make Christ visible to the world.
A prayer for healthy friendships and relationships
Lord Jesus,
Thank you for calling me into a relationship with You, not because I am perfect, but because You are merciful. Help me to walk humbly, to love patiently, and to grow each day in your image. Shape my heart to reflect your love, strengthen my faith, and lead me into unity with your people, so that my life can bring you glory.
Amen.
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This article was originally published on Christianity.com. For more faith-building resources, visit Christianity.com.
Originally published on Thursday July 9, 2026.
