Tan Flags: The Warning Signs That You're Too Boring To Date
Name: Beige Flags.
Age: Very old, although TikTok gave him a name recently.
Appearance: A red flag, but much more annoying.
Ah, red flags I know. Me too. These are warning signs of a relationship. Maybe you meet someone who lies a lot, or follows a few too many fitness models on Instagram, or responds to simple prompts with surprising aggression.
Argh! I hate this so much! Yes. Well, it's important to note these red flags, because ignoring them could mean you find yourself trapped in a partnership with someone you hate, say, a month before 30.
Hey, Pass Notes lasts for a month before 30 years. What a strange coincidence.
So what is a beige flag? If a red flag means the person you're romantically interested in is incompatible with your personality type, a tan flag means they're boring.
How do you work this outside? If you've spent any time on dating apps, you'll notice that most profiles have a habit of sinking into meaningless platitudes. Perhaps they list their interests as something as mundane as "food" or claim to enjoy soulless mainstream sitcoms.
Like It's boring. It's getting worse. Perhaps they are issuing unnecessary opinions. Maybe they're wondering if pineapple belongs in a pizza or they don't like the word "soft".
Pineapple on a pizza? So disgusting! When in fact, anyone who has something remotely interesting in their life won't care about something as hackneyed as the great Hawaiian pizza debate.
OK, but the jam definitely goes on a scone first, right? Christ. I'm so tired.
You think of something better to discuss, then. It does not depend on me. You've set up a dating profile to stand out from the crowd, but you've filled it with the same basic, unexceptional observations and interests as everyone else. Nothing about you stands out. You are a walking and talking beige flag. Why should I waste my time with you?
Alright. How would you stand out? I specify that I am half of the famous Pass Notes functionality of the Guardian.
It will not fuck you. It will, but only with a very, very, very, very, very, very specific type of person.
And the rest of us? Remember, it's a battlefield out there. Use what sets you apart the most. Have you ever been struck by lightning? Have you ever been bitten by a tiger? Did you invent toothpaste?
No. So it's a Hawaiian pizza. Good luck.
Say: "Avoid beige flags at all costs."
Don't say: "Or can -maybe you are too picky and your fruitless pursuit of romantic perfection will doom you to die alone."
Name: Beige Flags.
Age: Very old, although TikTok gave him a name recently.
Appearance: A red flag, but much more annoying.
Ah, red flags I know. Me too. These are warning signs of a relationship. Maybe you meet someone who lies a lot, or follows a few too many fitness models on Instagram, or responds to simple prompts with surprising aggression.
Argh! I hate this so much! Yes. Well, it's important to note these red flags, because ignoring them could mean you find yourself trapped in a partnership with someone you hate, say, a month before 30.
Hey, Pass Notes lasts for a month before 30 years. What a strange coincidence.
So what is a beige flag? If a red flag means the person you're romantically interested in is incompatible with your personality type, a tan flag means they're boring.
How do you work this outside? If you've spent any time on dating apps, you'll notice that most profiles have a habit of sinking into meaningless platitudes. Perhaps they list their interests as something as mundane as "food" or claim to enjoy soulless mainstream sitcoms.
Like It's boring. It's getting worse. Perhaps they are issuing unnecessary opinions. Maybe they're wondering if pineapple belongs in a pizza or they don't like the word "soft".
Pineapple on a pizza? So disgusting! When in fact, anyone who has something remotely interesting in their life won't care about something as hackneyed as the great Hawaiian pizza debate.
OK, but the jam definitely goes on a scone first, right? Christ. I'm so tired.
You think of something better to discuss, then. It does not depend on me. You've set up a dating profile to stand out from the crowd, but you've filled it with the same basic, unexceptional observations and interests as everyone else. Nothing about you stands out. You are a walking and talking beige flag. Why should I waste my time with you?
Alright. How would you stand out? I specify that I am half of the famous Pass Notes functionality of the Guardian.
It will not fuck you. It will, but only with a very, very, very, very, very, very specific type of person.
And the rest of us? Remember, it's a battlefield out there. Use what sets you apart the most. Have you ever been struck by lightning? Have you ever been bitten by a tiger? Did you invent toothpaste?
No. So it's a Hawaiian pizza. Good luck.
Say: "Avoid beige flags at all costs."
Don't say: "Or can -maybe you are too picky and your fruitless pursuit of romantic perfection will doom you to die alone."
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