England to Pakistan: Andy Zaltzman on stunning, record-breaking first Test
On a featureless parody of a terrain of cricket that adamantly refused to deteriorate - and experts have estimated that it had a half-life close to that of weapons-grade plutonium - in a match shaved of around 10 overs a day by the sun sticking in its scheduled bedtime, England cooked up one of the most stunning Test match victories.
Even taking into account Pakistan's weak bowling attack - they hadn't fielded an XI with fewer collective Career Test wickets since the mid-1950s when they were a new addition in international cricket - this match should have been a draw.
Almost the only possible path to victory on such a surface, in what was essentially a four and a half day game, was to score something in the region of 921 carries in 136.5 overs , to allow enough time to take 20 wickets. England stuck to that plan with impressive precision, right from the start.
In the Test Match Special comment box, my stat machine was overheating from first to last. The captivating, fluctuating, and unprecedented story of the game Vesuvius produced a pyroclastic flow of extraordinary numbers, from the moment Zak Crawley equaled Chris Gayle's record 14 points in the first over of a Test match.
Ben Duckett and Crawley reached 100 unbeaten in 13.4 overs, the second fastest stand in the first hundred wickets of years in the Tests and fastest in the opening innings of a Test, and the third time England have broken their national record for the opening 100 fastest partnership in the last five games. The 14.5 overs it took England to reach 100 in the second set was also in the Top 10 fastest 0-100 in Test history.
England reached 200 in 30.1 and 30.3 overs in their two innings, the third and fourth fastest a team has posted 200 in Tests (and breaking the record for the first innings of a Test by 26 balls). They passed 300 in 49.2 overs, the second fewest overs needed to reach that tally – beaten only by South Africa against very weak Zimbabwe in March 2005, and the fewest in the opening innings of a Test .
They set new records for the fewest overs needed to reach 400 (in 64.0 overs, by a margin of 4.1 overs), 500 (in 74.4, breaking that record of 15.3 overs), and 600, in 90.2 overs, hammering a barely comprehensible 33.2 overs, or 200 balls , or well over two hours of cricket, over the previous record of 123.4 overs.
The ruthless pudding of a pitch may have been the perfect surface to strike on like England Ben's Stokes-Brendon McCullum era - minimal sideways movement, predictable bounce and unresponsive ball. Nonetheless, the onslaught was unprecedented.
They scored at 6.73 over points in their two combined innings, breaking their own record for fastest run rate by a batting team in both innings of a test - 5.40, set at Trent Bridge last summer, which itself broke a record which existed since October 1902, when a legendary Australian team, on their way home from a The Ashes' winning tour hammered South Africa around Johannesburg.
In England's consolation victory in the final Test of this 1902 Ashes, Gloucestershire's Gilbert...
On a featureless parody of a terrain of cricket that adamantly refused to deteriorate - and experts have estimated that it had a half-life close to that of weapons-grade plutonium - in a match shaved of around 10 overs a day by the sun sticking in its scheduled bedtime, England cooked up one of the most stunning Test match victories.
Even taking into account Pakistan's weak bowling attack - they hadn't fielded an XI with fewer collective Career Test wickets since the mid-1950s when they were a new addition in international cricket - this match should have been a draw.
Almost the only possible path to victory on such a surface, in what was essentially a four and a half day game, was to score something in the region of 921 carries in 136.5 overs , to allow enough time to take 20 wickets. England stuck to that plan with impressive precision, right from the start.
In the Test Match Special comment box, my stat machine was overheating from first to last. The captivating, fluctuating, and unprecedented story of the game Vesuvius produced a pyroclastic flow of extraordinary numbers, from the moment Zak Crawley equaled Chris Gayle's record 14 points in the first over of a Test match.
Ben Duckett and Crawley reached 100 unbeaten in 13.4 overs, the second fastest stand in the first hundred wickets of years in the Tests and fastest in the opening innings of a Test, and the third time England have broken their national record for the opening 100 fastest partnership in the last five games. The 14.5 overs it took England to reach 100 in the second set was also in the Top 10 fastest 0-100 in Test history.
England reached 200 in 30.1 and 30.3 overs in their two innings, the third and fourth fastest a team has posted 200 in Tests (and breaking the record for the first innings of a Test by 26 balls). They passed 300 in 49.2 overs, the second fewest overs needed to reach that tally – beaten only by South Africa against very weak Zimbabwe in March 2005, and the fewest in the opening innings of a Test .
They set new records for the fewest overs needed to reach 400 (in 64.0 overs, by a margin of 4.1 overs), 500 (in 74.4, breaking that record of 15.3 overs), and 600, in 90.2 overs, hammering a barely comprehensible 33.2 overs, or 200 balls , or well over two hours of cricket, over the previous record of 123.4 overs.
The ruthless pudding of a pitch may have been the perfect surface to strike on like England Ben's Stokes-Brendon McCullum era - minimal sideways movement, predictable bounce and unresponsive ball. Nonetheless, the onslaught was unprecedented.
They scored at 6.73 over points in their two combined innings, breaking their own record for fastest run rate by a batting team in both innings of a test - 5.40, set at Trent Bridge last summer, which itself broke a record which existed since October 1902, when a legendary Australian team, on their way home from a The Ashes' winning tour hammered South Africa around Johannesburg.
In England's consolation victory in the final Test of this 1902 Ashes, Gloucestershire's Gilbert...
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