How to be less self-critical when perfectionism is a trap
Perfectionism among young people has skyrocketed, but experts say there are ways to calm your inner critic.
Yuxin Sun, a psychologist in Seattle, sees many clients in her group practice who insist they are not perfectionists. “Oh, I’m not perfect. "I'm far from perfect," they tell him.
But perfectionism isn't about being the best at a given activity, Dr. Sun said, "It's the feeling of never getting to that place, of never feeling good enough, of never feeling adequate. And this can give rise to a harsh internal voice that puts us down and chastises us.
Perfectionism is so pervasive that there is a test to measure it: the scale of multidimensional perfectionism. When researchers looked at how students responded to the scale's questions over time, they found that rates of perfectionism have increased in recent decades, skyrocketing between 2006 and 2022.
Thomas Curran, associate professor of psychology at the London School of Economics and Political Science who led the analysis, said the type of perfectionism that saw the sharpest rise – socially prescribed perfectionism – was rooted in the belief that others expect you to be perfect. Today’s young person is more likely to score much higher on this measure than someone who took the test decades ago. This increase could have several causes: the growing expectations of parents, academic pressure, the omnipresence of influencers on social networks and advertising.
The feeling of not not being good enough or The fact that “my current life circumstances are inadequate or insufficient” has created a “relentless treadmill,” Dr. Curran said, where there is “no joy in success and a lot of self-criticism."
Whether or not you consider yourself a perfectionist, experts say there are a number of small things you can try to keep your inner critic.
You are having difficulty retrieving the content of the article.
Please enable JavaScript in the your browser settings.
Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode, please exit and sign in to your Times account, or subscribe to the entire Times.
Thank you for your...
Perfectionism among young people has skyrocketed, but experts say there are ways to calm your inner critic.
Yuxin Sun, a psychologist in Seattle, sees many clients in her group practice who insist they are not perfectionists. “Oh, I’m not perfect. "I'm far from perfect," they tell him.
But perfectionism isn't about being the best at a given activity, Dr. Sun said, "It's the feeling of never getting to that place, of never feeling good enough, of never feeling adequate. And this can give rise to a harsh internal voice that puts us down and chastises us.
Perfectionism is so pervasive that there is a test to measure it: the scale of multidimensional perfectionism. When researchers looked at how students responded to the scale's questions over time, they found that rates of perfectionism have increased in recent decades, skyrocketing between 2006 and 2022.
Thomas Curran, associate professor of psychology at the London School of Economics and Political Science who led the analysis, said the type of perfectionism that saw the sharpest rise – socially prescribed perfectionism – was rooted in the belief that others expect you to be perfect. Today’s young person is more likely to score much higher on this measure than someone who took the test decades ago. This increase could have several causes: the growing expectations of parents, academic pressure, the omnipresence of influencers on social networks and advertising.
The feeling of not not being good enough or The fact that “my current life circumstances are inadequate or insufficient” has created a “relentless treadmill,” Dr. Curran said, where there is “no joy in success and a lot of self-criticism."
Whether or not you consider yourself a perfectionist, experts say there are a number of small things you can try to keep your inner critic.
You are having difficulty retrieving the content of the article.
Please enable JavaScript in the your browser settings.
Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode, please exit and sign in to your Times account, or subscribe to the entire Times.
Thank you for your...
What's Your Reaction?
