Lukaku fails as Rudiger and Thiago Silva soar in Chelsea's latest 50 signings

Chelsea have made some bad signings over the years. That's what I thought before writing this feature. Turns out they did a freaking amount of absolutely shocking signings. A few players here haven't played or played any games for the Blues, while many of the £20m+ signings have looked wildly over the top.

Including their club-record deal and new faces who joined in January 2022, here's a ranking of Chelsea's 50 latest signings. It's pretty dark.

Mykhaylo Mudryk is the club's newest addition, displacing Pedro's £27million move. Kenedy is the oldest transfer on this list and will be dropped from it if (when) the Blues sign someone else in January.

Prices, as always, are taken from Transfermarkt, which now operates in euros, not pounds, b***ards.

50) Romelu Lukaku (£99.8m) Worst of all is Chelsea's record signing. Lukaku was signed after a historic campaign with Inter Milan and kicked off with a brilliant performance on his second debut for the Blues by making Arsenal defender Pablo Mari look like a little boy. p>

That's when it all went a little Pete Tong. Lukaku did a controversial interview in which he explained how much he loves Inter and how playing under Thomas Tuchel was not what he expected. It was never the same after that. The striker's performances plummeted before being loaned out to Milan last summer. What a waste of £100m.

49) Kepa Arrizabalaga (£72m) Kepa has looked good for the last year or so but he's still unreliable and nothing like a £72m goalkeeper pounds sterling.

48) Tiemoue Bakayoko (£35million) Bakayoko was part of the brilliant Monaco side that reached the semi-finals of the Champions League in 2017. That team was disbanded the following summer, when the midfielder French terrain moving into West London. , where he struggled to prove he could play football.

47) Danny Drinkwater (£33.5m) Just a disastrous signing all round. Drinkwater joined a year after N'Golo Kante and did not have the same effect. After poor performances whenever he got the chance, he was loaned out to Burnley, then Aston Villa, then Turkish side Kasimpasa before joining Reading until the summer of 2022. Drinkwater is currently without a club after his contract at Chelsea expired in June.

46) Alvaro Morata (£58m) This guy has the best football agent. Him and Roberto Martinez.

45) Michy Batshuayi (£34m) scored the away goal at West Brom to secure the Premier League title in 2017, and thus a Chelsea legend.

44) Davide Zappacosta (£22m) Antonio Conte made horrible signings during his time at Stamford Bridge. Zappacosta is already the fourth since the summer of 2017 to appear on this list.

43) Mykhaylo Mudryk (£62m) Am I bitter as an Arsenal fan? May be. Mudryk's deal could be as high as £88.5m, which is a lot to pay for someone with less than 70 professional appearances.

42) Papy Djilobodji (£3m) Djilobodji played once for the Blues, coming on in added time in the third round of a League Cup draw with Walsall.

41) Rob Green (Free) Green was a bit of a meme during his time at Chelsea. He will only be remembered for celebrating the Blues' Europa League final victory against London rivals Arsenal.

40) Michael Hector (£4.7m) I think a lot of people have either been surprisingly reminded – or have just found out – that Hector was a Chelsea player. He didn't play a single game for them.

39) Matt Miazga (£4m) Miazga was signed for less than Hector, actually played for Chelsea and may have helped the club develop in the United States. What a signature!

38) Marcus Bettinelli (free) Bettinelli was signed for nothing and is now the club's fourth goalkeeper.

37) Marc Cucurella (£57.6m) Cucurella's 2021-22 campaign with Brighton has been absolutely brilliant. He quickly adapted to Premier League football following a £16million transfer from Getafe, but hasn't even looked half the player since his move to Stamford Bridge.

36) Kalidou Koulibaly (£33.6m) Last June I said Koulibaly was one of six players constantly linked with a move to the Premier League with an actual transfer which obviously won't happen never. I had eggs on my face when the Senegalese moved to Chelsea a few weeks later...