Ring 999 Martin Odegaard's cheeky nutmeg was the perfect NYE assault

Save a thought for the police and emergency services as they prepare for the biggest night of the year.

Across the UK, millions of people are putting on their best clothes and squeezing a bottle of Echo Falls in preparation for New Year's Eve and celebrating another year of surviving our planet in decomposition.

While many wise men have identified December 31 as the most disappointing night of the year, others will indulge in endorphin-boosting substances to usher in 2023.

And, to make matters worse, police are already exhausted after being called to the South Coast to investigate the most audacious assault in living memory.

The attacker was a young Norwegian named Martin Odegaard, proud captain of the Premier League leaders and having the best season of his career.

Odegaard recently received praise from Arsène Wenger, who said: "I was worried about Martin [at Real Madrid]. I thought he had lost some of his creative attitude. Creativity stagnated.

“After coming to Arsenal, he found his creativity back. He plays incredibly well and has mastered all aspects of the game.”

And, on proof of that 4-2 win at Brighton, Odegaard has mastered the art of making opposition defenders very silly.

The 24-year-old teamed up with Gabriel Martinelli and Oleksandr Zinchenko in a free-jazz rendition of the foreplay to tease an opening in the Brighton defence.

Finally, Martinelli sent a pass at Odgaard's feet and moved forward for the return more in hope than expectation. This would prove to be a fatal understatement of his teammate.

As two defenders loomed, hoping to snatch the ball with the ease of taking candy from a baby, the Arsenal captain managed to bring the ball back and whip it between Lewis Dunk's feet.

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Fortunately, Dunk was able to wipe the egg from his face in time to see Martinelli squander the opportunity. Damage to professional pride may take longer to heal.

Odegaard is Arsenal's top scorer in the Premier League this season with seven goals and five assists in 15 games - but Arteta believes he can still improve. "He can be much better," his manager said earlier this week.

"Physically he can improve in many areas. The way he can drive with the ball and eliminate people, his crosses, his passing range, can still be better.

"Defensively he gets better every time, and [just like] that mentality of going out there and winning the game and having that mentality every three days."

But, when asked if Odegaard would realize his potential under his watch, he replied: "I was hoping - I don't know if I expected - that he could show the talent he a.

“Martin is in a really good time. He defines plays, he has a different kind of presence on the pitch.

"He had the continuity and the minutes and the role in the team that he needed to shine.

"We try that with every player, to create the right environment and the right philosophy of football and the right people around him to succeed."

Based on that performance, which also included a goal and a lavish assist, Odegaard is capable of leading Arsenal to their first Premier League title since 2004.

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