Top Ten Reasons Why Christian Sisters Stay Single (1), By Ayo Akerele

Some delays are simply timing issues. The right time has not come. There is a special mission for you and God needs you to marry a specific man. If you miss this man, it's a disaster. For these cases, a lot of patience and endurance are needed. This is also the situation of many women. You will need to pray for a unique word from the Lord if your case falls within this scope. Therefore, believers must be trained to know how to hear the voice of God.

I had the privilege of speaking at a conference of Christian women in February 2021. Among other questions, the question on the lips of the majority of the sisters was: "Why do many Christian women wait so long to get a man?” I tried as much as I could to answer their questions, and here are some of the issues I raised about marriage delays.

1. Setters of high standards

Many Christian sisters are still waiting because they have set themselves very unrealistic and unattainable standards of the kind of man they want. So they are experts at wasting opportunities. There is nothing wrong with setting standards, but you have to be careful not to set murderous standards that will end up working against you, given the dynamics of our current society.

There are cases of sisters saying, "if he doesn't graduate from Oxford, I can't negotiate." Someone told me that a lady once said to him: "if your salary does not reach this amount, I cannot treat". I told him he hadn't found a wife. Why? The day they see you, she can dump you. Of course, it's your life, and you can marry whoever you want. But if you're religious and have mastered the art of setting unrealistic, carnal standards, you've shot yourself in the foot.

Beware of the type of list you draw. Many Christian sisters have actually wasted many opportunities that have arisen because of their unrealistic lists. The wisdom is: be sensitive and careful.

Diamonds don't always spawn as diamonds, but as diamond ore (which is dirty and muddy). God can send a man across your path that you are responsible for cleaning up. Don't throw your diamond on the platform of insensitive and unrealistic personal standards.

2. Bad attitudes

Many women have very bad attitudes that repel many potential suitors. Greet them, they will answer you with insults. Unfortunately, the Christian community is no exception. Humility is like perfume. Treat all men with respect. Even if you would never accept someone's proposal, treat them with respect. He may be a friend of the right person, and his recommendation may be anything that will attract this man to you. By the grace of God, it was my recommendation that sealed the deal for a beloved sister in Christ. A friend of the potential man asked me if she was a good person, and I sealed the deal by testifying that she is an amazing woman. Today they are married. Attitudes are more valuable than the strongest perfumes. Men smell attitudes faster than perfumes.

Some cases are self-inflicted. A lot of Christian sisters have funny cultural prejudices...