3 Ways to Talk About Your Feelings When You're Anxious

You've probably heard the quote and the book of the same name by Susan Jeffers…

“Feel the fear and do it anyway”

When you want to talk openly about your feelings but don't feel like it...

It can be an insurmountable mountain to climb and you shut up instead of climbing it.

Your fear can stop you dead!

But what if you're holding back something that really needs to be said and saying it might open up a discussion and an opportunity for healing?

Take Sally for example…

She had felt unimportant to her husband Paul of 30 years for some time but had held back on her complaints in hopes that things would get better…

But it's not.

She kept making excuses that he was busy with work and tired when he came home or that they were older and she shouldn't expect their relationship be as before…

But the thought kept nagging her that he had lost interest in her and no longer cared.

She was hurt, angry and had tried to talk to him several times but each time she froze and the words wouldn't come out.

She knew she was making herself sick and had to do something.

Sally also knew that sooner or later her anger would flare and her words would be spoken in a way that would harm her and Paul, so she reached out to us for help.

Here are 3 ways that have helped her and can help you open up to your feelings when you feel anxious about it…

1. Acknowledge the truth and not your stories

When something important comes up and we have very charged feelings around it, those feelings were generated by the stories we created around it.

When you get to what is truly true beneath all the stories, you can speak in a clearer way without all the defenses and drama.

As we talked, Sally saw that beneath her anger and pain lurked the truth that she and Paul no longer had the close bond they once had.

Without all the “why” stories, she saw that she missed that connection with him and would love to reconnect.

This simple "truth" without all the fuss brought him some peace.

2. Invite a chat not a grill

That's a whole different way to approach opening up about your feelings when it comes to an invitation to a chat and not just to "get your guts out"!

When Sally saw she could invite Paul into a discussion instead of just airing her complaints, she saw the possibilities.

She knew he might not want to talk about it, but if she was open to him, he might.

She saw that by predicting in her mind a terrible outcome to saying how she felt, she was actually preparing for it to happen and shutting down in the process.

But by staying open itself, it was more likely to open as well.

3. Be open to listening with a loving heart

When you are willing to listen with love, you allow the other person to speak their truth without fear of judgment or criticism.

What is said may not match your preconceptions, but it can pave the way to deeper understanding and the right next steps.

When we spoke with Sally next, she told us that at first Paul denied there was a problem, but with some difficulty she managed to stay open and not get on the wrong side. defensive.

When she told him she loved him and would like to feel connected like she used to feel with him…

He broke down and told her that he hadn't felt like himself for quite a while and he didn't know what the problem was.

He said he still loved her, but something was wrong with him.

While they were talking, he told her that maybe it was time to make an appointment with their doctor for a physical exam and start there.

Sally felt closer to Paul during this discussion than she had in a long time and was hopeful for their future together.

And you?

Is there anything important you're holding back that you need to open up about your feelings?

Don't let your health or relationships suffer any longer.

Take action today, but do it mindfully and lovingly.

If you would like to tell us about your situation, contact us here…