4 prayers for a difficult marriage

The growth of marriage sometimes forces us to take a step back to move in a new direction. When we see a negative cycle spiraling out of control in our relationship, it can be easy to want to throw away everything we have to “fix” the problem. Worse, we may run away feeling defeated and powerless to change the broken spaces in our relationships. While it's important to take action (it's never wise to ignore red flags in our marriages), sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is step back just to pause and invite God in our mess. Psalm 46:10 says, “Stop, and know that I am God; I will be lifted up among the nations, I will be lifted up on the earth”. Our mysterious God reminds us that he is doing his best when we step aside and assume a posture of still surrender in his presence.

This space isn't the kind of space I'm so sick of you I never want to talk about again. It is you, as a spouse, intentionally choosing to be still. It is in these moments of stillness that we are reminded that God is the one who gives us the power to be the spouses we are called to be! In quiet, we realize that our marriages are not just about us and our needs, but a place where we can live out the Bible's call to "serve one another in love" (Galatians 5:13). /p>

In this space of humble, prayerful invitations or sometimes desperate cries for help to our able and great God, we can have the grace to step back and let the waters of our relationship calm down. When we relinquish our rights and control and realize that only God can heal the damaged places between us, we are also free to stop harassing ourselves and each other for the same old failures. We are free to begin to forgive ourselves for the growing wounds that want to tear us apart.

Being still can feel like you're not pointing out every flaw or choosing to extend grace when things don't go your way rather than fighting for your right to right. It may even sound like turning the other cheek (Matthew 5:38-40). Biblical marriage is a marriage filled with humility, sacrificial love, and forgiveness.

In this place of holy invitation, prayer is our weapon! We can call upon the hosts of Angels of Heaven to do what only God can do in our homes. It takes so much confidence and humility to lay down our own fighting weapons. It is a deep surrender to give up our own right to defend ourselves and trust God to be our guard and guide. We are not alone in this fight; God is with us and gives us the strength to step back and love our partners beyond what might be considered reasonable.

Here are some prayers for your troubled marriage:

Ephesians 4:32 Be kind and merciful to one another, forgiving one another, as in Christ God has forgiven you.

Father, would you give each of us the strength, grace, patience, and wisdom to show your kindness and compassion toward one another. Would you like to shine a light on the ways in which unforgiveness gave way to a root of bitterness to poison our relationship. Give us the strength to unpack the baggage that the years have gracefully created. Open our hearts to experience your miraculous gift of forgiveness. May we follow your example of loving beyond what is reasonable. Please help us stop counting wrongs and embrace your example of incredible grace in our home. Amen.

Ephesians 5:33 But let each of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

God, graciously give us the opportunity to see ourselves as you see us. Show us how you love your spouse. Help us focus on their gifts, talents, service and love. Open our eyes to the reality of the endless mercy you have bestowed upon each one of us. Empower us to regard one another with love and respect. Grant us the self-control and the humility to pause and agree before defending ourselves. Let love and respect permeate our interactions. Amen.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is neither arrogant nor rude. He does not insist on his own way; he is neither irritable nor resentful; he does not rejoice in evil but rejoices in the truth. Love supports everything, believes everything, hopes everything, supports everything. Love never ends. As for the prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.

God, thank you for being a loving God and for teaching us to be like you. I'm so...