5 Ways to Help Your Spouse Fight Cancer

Hearing the intense reality of a bone marrow transplant was not how I expected to spend my time just days after our honeymoon. This specialist was supposed to be the one who told us that the other doctor had made a mistake. He was supposed to take blood and bone marrow samples and tell us the leukemia was no longer detectable, but things weren't going according to my plans.

Discussing my husband's cancer journey, one person asked, "You married him knowing he was sick?"

Isn't that what "illness and health" is all about? I have no regrets and I wouldn't have changed anything except that I wish I had the faith that I have now. I never trusted God for my husband's life like I trust God for everything now. God has been faithful throughout this season, and my faith has blossomed during this long and difficult struggle.

Below I'd like to share five ways to help your spouse fight cancer:

Don't have unrealistic expectations, but believe that God does the impossible. As a young Christian, my mind wanted to cling to this, but I couldn't get my heart on board. Each time we received a bad report, I went from believing to doubting. I panicked, asking the doctors and nurses questions. Why didn't it work? What can we do? What if it doesn't work? I searched their responses for any thread of hope to cling to, but often ended up in tears.

It didn't help that we were newborn Christians. Our faith had not yet grown. We clung to the promise of Romans 8:28 (NIV):

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

In my less optimistic days, I believed that even if my husband died, God would fix the situation for good. This is where I tell you not to do what I did but to do what I say. If I could go back in time, I would open the Bible to Mark 11.

"Have faith in God," Jesus answered. "Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and do not doubt in his heart, but believe that what he says will come to pass, it will be to him Therefore I say to you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." (Mark 11:22-24 NIV)

Jesus tells us to have faith in God. What does it look like? It means that we have firm trust in God. We trust his will, his ability to heal, and his timing. The latter becomes difficult. Faith goes beyond belief. Faith is shown in our walk, not just in our conversation (1 Cor. 5:17).

When we commit to trusting God to heal, doubt constantly threatens us. The enemy will whisper in our ears, "What if God doesn't heal?"

That's when we answer, "He will!" Strong faith can be contagious, and your spouse might have better prospects just because you do.

Our faith must show itself in our prayers. Look at the same verses above. Jesus didn't tell us to pray just for God to move the mountain. He tells us to speak to the mountain ourselves. Talk to Cancer, even when your spouse isn't around. When you are together, talk to Cancer by laying hands on your spouse. I realize this might make you feel uncomfortable if this is not normal for you or your church. Throughout the Bible, people touched those they prayed for, usually with their hands (Luke 4:40, Acts 28:8). Elijah lay on the widow's dead son while asking God to revive him (1 Kings 17:21).

In addition to talking about cancer, pray to ask God to heal your spouse. In Mark 11:24, Jesus tells us to ask for what we need and trust that we will receive it. It goes back to our faith, but Jesus emphasized a connection between believing and receiving. It's not "name it and claim it". It comes right out of the mouth of Jesus Christ. He said we must believe that God will answer our prayers, and our prayers will be answered.

Does God always answer our prayers when we believe? What if I didn't have the faith to believe? God's ways and thoughts are higher than ours (Is. 55:8). I wish I could give you those answers, but again, we have to tr...