6 Ways to Cope With Your Narcissistic Parents This Holiday Season

If time and finances are available, take some time out before the holidays. Get a massage, facial, or something else that relaxes you. Find relaxing activities to do before and after the day you see your parents. Adult coloring books, knitting and crocheting are also great inexpensive activities to soothe the mind and relax the body. This will help you cope with the holiday season and all the stress that comes with it. The more relaxed you are, the more clearly you will be able to see the situation with your parents. You may find that you are overreacting to it. By allowing your mind to refuel with stress hormones, you'll find that you'll be able to weather the holidays more easily.

Sometimes you react to a present event with your parents. But sometimes you react to unresolved wounds and past wounds that have not been resolved. There are great resources available to help you set firm boundaries and resolve past hurts so you can see current events with clarity. Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. Henry Townsend and Emotionally Healthy Spiritually by Pete Scazzero are two great resources to help you. There are also additional courses and lessons you can take to help you deal specifically with your emotions about your parents. Do what you can to forgive past events before you see them. Unresolved emotional wounds can cloud your judgment and cause you to see things from a biased point of view. You can never forget what happened in the past, which you can choose to forgive. God calls us to forgive others their sins so that we will be forgiven of our sins.

Spend time with the Lord and do an analysis of your parenting style. Do you find that you do things the same way your parents did? Even if we don't like it, sometimes we look more like our parents than we think. If you identify something you say or do that is as hurtful to your children as you were hurt by your parents, understand that we are all human. Our parents did their best with what they had learned from the previous generation. Give them a break and give yourself a break too. You may find that you look more like your parents than you previously thought.

Holidays can be stressful, no matter who is around your table. But it can be especially stressful when your parents choose to put themselves forward instead of you. Strive to put their needs first, and you'll find yourself less frustrated and more joyful. You may find that you have a better holiday than expected when you choose to act as Jesus wants us to act.