Getting out of an emotional jealousy trap...

When you fall into a jealousy trap, you may feel like your emotions have been hacked and you have absolutely no control over them.

Jealousy can come with friends, family members, co-workers, and of course, intimate partners.

It can blind you to something small that annoys you or something that changes your life.

Whatever the reason for jealousy, your reactions may be considered exaggerated by those who witness it and it can certainly damage your relationships.

Because we've been helping people overcome jealousy for almost 25 years...

And have dealt with it ourselves in our relationship…

We can offer you a few ways to start breaking out of an emotional jealousy trap and start loving again…

1. Allow the idea that jealousy is a habit of thought

We've heard some people describe themselves as a "jealous person" and we're here to dispel that idea.

Jealousy and jealous reactions are the result of the thoughts you keep spinning and believing, keeping you in an agitated state.

We certainly recognize that another person may do something that violates your commitments or that you do not want them to do.

It can definitely happen.

But often the other person does nothing to provoke your jealous reactions and you are intrigued by the hold they have on you anyway.

Rose, a coaching client from years ago, felt hopeless over the raging feelings of jealousy rising within her.

Each intimate relationship ended the same way with the guy leaving because of the questioning and distrust she carried from relationship to relationship.

She thought she was "just a jealous person" and should live with it.

But during the coaching, she saw that she had kept those intense feelings front and center through the stories she kept reliving - that every relationship ended and no one would love her.

She saw how her thinking sabotaged every relationship and kept her in a constant state of waiting for the other shoe to drop and the current guy to leave her.

She began to realize that she had created her misery, based on her miserable background in the past and not just the guys she had been with.

2. Look to what you really want

When you're jealous, you always focus on what you don't want rather than what you want.

You're always looking for what's wrong and that's a habit you can break.

Thinking about this idea, Rose saw that she wasn't just looking for what was wrong with her intimate relationships, but always with her family, colleagues and friends.

Somehow she felt that by doing this she would be "prepared" when they let her down, but it never happened that way.

No amount of "preparation" helped when the time "it" happened.

When Rose saw how focused and searching for what was wrong with every aspect of her life…

She allowed herself to look towards what she really wanted in these relationships instead of what she didn't want.

Seeing beyond the pain she kept active inside her, she noticed that she wanted to feel important to the people in her life…

And she never really felt that way.

While talking with her, Rose discovered that the starting point for getting what she wanted was not outside of her…

But rather look inside, love yourself and make yourself important to her.

As we explored ways for her to do this, she realized that taking more time to care for herself by being in nature and being willing to do it on her own could help her.< /p>

It could be something different for you, like suggesting an activity that would be fun for you and your loved one, focusing on the fun, not the missing.

3. Find out what you are doing that is taking you away from what you want and make a choice

When you fall into a jealousy trap, you can have all kinds of reactions.

– You can shut up and walk away saying "everything is fine", but the other person knows there's...

–You can get very angry and explode, saying hurtful words that you can't get back...

–You can keep asking questions that suggest mistrust and the other person is fed up…

– Or you can do all of the above or something else.

When you come out and take an honest look (without putting yourself down) at what you do when jealousy triggers you…

You will be able to see your "go to" response and...