He's perfectly happy in their relationship - she's not...

Today we have a very sincere and important question that one of our readers sent to us and our suggestions for what she might consider doing to resolve this unfortunate relationship situation.

Whether you are a man or a woman and whatever your situation, we believe that there are some very good leads for you here from which you will greatly benefit.

Question from a reader>>>

Dear Susie and Otto–

"How can I implement your suggestions and hope for success when my husband refuses to believe there is anything to improve?

"His answer to everything is..."I'm perfectly happy - if there's a problem, it's YOUR problem, so you better fix your problem and you'll be fine." are all men like this?

"Despite your assurances that the changes I'm making in myself will give her options to change, it hasn't worked out that way and I'm tired. Tired of trying every suggestion, of being more open , to listen without judgment to everything you and all the other self-help gurus preach, and to see no results.

"It's very frustrating. I'm immersing myself more and more in my own world and spending time with people who are like me and who I can connect with without 'talking on eggshells' It's too exhausting, so I resigned myself to living with a "roommate".

"It's sad, but my marriage will never be a marriage of connectedness, of soul mates. It's just two imperfect people living under the same roof, trying to get by every day."

p> Our comments>>>

We can understand how painful this is for you and believe us when we say that it's not just men who don't take responsibility for fixing problems in a relationship.

Women can be just as reluctant to pay attention to a relationship and make positive changes.

We've worked with enough couples with similar stories that we know about the exercise...

You feel like you're trying and trying and trying and nothing ever seems to change, so you're doing what a lot of people are doing.

You give up and “settle” for a mediocre relationship or worse.

We certainly don't blame you, and…

Everyone has the right to live their life as they see fit, but if you want more love, passion, connection, or anything else in your relationship, here's a suggestion…

Don't settle.

Do something, ANYTHING, but never settle.

It's the end of relationships.

Don't settle for what you are currently doing in REACTION to your partner.

We know you're tired of doing everything in the relationship and trying ideas that don't seem to move him from his position.

Here's the thing…

He may or may not want to change, but if you start to change and break out of your old "relationship dance", something will change.

Paula and her husband coached our clients and over the years before coming to us, Paula and her husband argued more and more, even over small things. Paula felt like she couldn't say or do anything right.

He seemed to be constantly irritated (and she thought it was always about her) and they spent a lot of time in separate rooms during the evening hours – him in front of the computer and Paula in front of the TV or reading a book.

She wanted the closeness they used to have and even though she didn't want to fight him, it always ended like that.

He was not interested in talking about their relationship and Paula was very frustrated.

Here's what we suggested to improve his unhappy relationship...

1. Watch what role you play in your "relationship dance".

Just replay the action in one of your awkward interactions and don't mind what your partner is doing - mind what you're doing.

2. When you really see how you retreat, defend, defend or whatever else you do, breathe and don't do what you've always done.

In other words, don't repeat what doesn't work.

3. Say what's true for you and don't defend it.

If your partner wants to fight for it, don't. Get out of the fight.

4. Be clear about what you're committing to and figure out what you're willing to tolerate in your relationship.

Make sure you don't just "settle" and commit...