How to Use Social Media, According to Teenage Girls

Parents and public health experts have a lot to say about what teenage girls do on their phones. We asked teens for their opinions.

Psychologists suggest teens take breaks from social media and ask themselves as they scroll through the pages: "Is make me feel bad about myself watching this?” Public health experts recommend “adult supervision” and setting clear limits on when and where teens have access to their phones. The surgeon general wants parents to keep their child's room device-free for at least an hour before bedtime and throughout the night. In Utah, lawmakers have determined that children under 18 should not have access to TikTok or Instagram without parental permission.

This article is part of “Being 13,” a project that examines what life is like for teenage girls in the age of social media.

Adults spoke out about the effects of phone and social media use on teens and how best to intervene to protect their mental health. Yet we rarely ask young people what they think could be constructive or what they are already doing to adopt healthy habits. So we spoke to girls ages 12 to 17 who participated in programs run by Girls Leadership, a nonprofit that teaches confidence building and responsible use of social media.

Here's some of their best advice for other teens — and what they want adults to know, too.

Advice from teen to teenYou don't you don't have to respond right away.

Reminders to do your homework. DM in every app. Several group chats explode. All these notifications can seem endless and overwhelming. Niki Shiva, 17, of Hayward, Calif., said she set her phone to "not disturb everyone except mom" to ease her anxiety. Niki explained that she often obsesses over whether people have responded to her, so she tries to minimize the temptation to constantly check her phone. She also said she removed her messaging app from her home screen (it's now stored in a folder in her app library) "so she doesn't have to look at the number of notifications."

Unfollow people and pages that make you feel bad.

Several teens we spoke to said that, when possible, they deleted posts from their social media. accounts that undermined their self-esteem. (Experts agree that this is a good practice.) “Your attention is power,” said Janine Edmunds, 14, of South Jamaica, Queens. “On TikTok, you can go and click “not interested” on a video. Or block people you don't like. It's not a shady thing, it's just that I don't want you in my space. she feels ugly...