I'm racing my biological clock and a tight-lipped boyfriend. Help!

A reader wishing to have a child before her 40s doesn't know what to make of a new love's silence when the conversation turns to future.< /p>

I am a single woman in my late thirties. I am also a neurosurgeon and my medical training took 15 years of my life. I do not regret it. I love my job, but that often meant sacrificing my personal life. The problem: I want to have children and I start late. Ten weeks ago I met an amazing guy online. Our interests overlap, we get along well, and he also wants kids. But when I talk about the future — moving in together or how our relationship will evolve — he backs off. I have no time to waste if I want a child before I turn 40. Is his reluctance a red flag?

SARA

I understand your fear that the time is running out. But the only red flag I see is you rushing your new boyfriend because you want a baby fast. You've only been dating for 10 weeks! Your boyfriend is probably still unsure about your future together. Are you? Is this man your life partner or just the guy standing in front of you right now?

Try to separate your fertility concerns from your fertility concerns. relationship. I won't be the idiot who explains the pressure on women to get pregnant. Nonetheless, I urge you to see a specialist to assess your current fertility and your pregnancy options in the future. If it's affordable and viable, consider egg freezing now to give yourself some breathing room.

You're grappling with important decisions: partnership and parenthood. I would hate to see you make a mistake - marry the wrong guy or scare the right one - by rushing. If your boyfriend remains reluctant over the next few months, then we can talk about red flags. And remember: there are many ways to create a loving family, including through adoption or becoming an adoptive parent.

ImageCredit...Miguel Porlan

A Sexts brother, a Frets sister

My brother and I came home to celebrate our mother's birthday. While we were there, I happened to see my brother sexting with a woman who is not his fiancée. (She didn't make the trip.) I'm so upset. Should I tell his fiancée about his disgusting behavior?

SISTER

Let's put aside the questions about the "accident" that led you to spy on your brother's phone and read a string of text carefully enough to determine both its subject and the identity of the other party.

Au As far as it's your business, which I doubt, why don't you start by talking to your brother? We don't know the circumstances of this conversation, what resulted from it, or if your brother has a deal with his fiancée about online flirting. Unless your goal is to break off his engagement, it's hard to imagine why his fiancée would be your first stop.

It's not the flight that makes a first Hello special

My husband's father is dying and has only weeks to live. We have a newborn and my husband wants the three of us to fly from New York, where we live, to Paris, where his father lives, so that his father can meet the baby before he dies. We're told his dad is mostly beside himself now. I am terrified of flying with our newborn baby with the current rates of Covid infection, flu and R.S.V. Also, flying for eight hours with a baby while pumping breast milk seems like too much! What should I do?

WOMAN

Trust your instincts. Be nice to your husband, however, when pleading your case. You're both probably overwhelmed with the new baby,...