Noppert to Richarlison via Messi and Mbappe: One-per-country 2022 World Cup team
It's time for the Team of the Tournament as the 2022 World Cup draws to a close, and this one is pretty straightforward. Only one rule - you can only select one player per country, which is bad news for Antoine Griezmann, Olivier Giroud and Julian Alvarez.
We imagine they are devastated.
GK: Andries Noppert (Netherlands) One of the best World Cup stories. A few years ago, 26-year-old Noppert was an out-of-work goalkeeper who couldn't get a second-tier game and considered changing careers to become a top cop. Still, a goalkeeping crisis at Go Ahead Eagles offered Noppert a chance, from where a move to Heerenveen followed and eventually, most absurd of all, a call-up to the Dutch World Cup squad. His international debut came at the World Cup, which remains remarkable despite that World Cup being the only World Cup at which such nonsense was at least theoretically possible. And he was great, in a Dutch team that… wasn't really all that. He faced 22 shots on target and saved 18. His five appearances at this World Cup account for more than 10% of his professional first-team appearances.
RB: Sergino Dest (USA) You always end up skimping on full-backs in these XIs, don't you? Underrated are the full-backs. We're not claiming that he uprooted several trees in Qatar, but he did well. Better than 'an all-season appearance for Milan on loan from Barcelona' you would think, but not as good as 'Manchester United urged to move for American star'.
CB: Josko Gvardiol (Croatia) Probably the best centre-back in the tournament despite being so thoroughly assaulted by Lionel Messi in the semi-finals. Not the first, won't be the etc. and besides the game was long gone. His composure and ability to read the game at just 20 years old would set him apart in any team, let alone old Croatian war horses. Scored a very nice goal in the third place play-off, which is a step up from a very nice five-a-side on Monday, but still.
CB: Kalidou Koulibaly (Senegal) Despite Senegal's exit in the round of 16, only one player has made more clearances than Koulibaly in Qatar, and this man is his central defensive partner in this team. Only six players have won more tackles than Koulibaly's nine. Five of these players have reached the semi-finals and the other is also in this team. No spoilers, but it was Jude Bellingham.
LB: Aziz Behich (Australia) Is it almost entirely down to a combination of the whole full-back and that run he made in the knockout stages against Argentina which ended as one of the great goals that never was? We prefer not to talk. I also had a bit of a row with Lionel Messi, which is a good story to tell people, isn't it?
CM: Sofyan Amrabat (Morocco)Completed the World Cup cycle in record time. From 'breakout star' to 'linked to everyone (well, Liverpool)' to 'Warning against signing player based on World Cup'. Of course it rather depends on whether you forget or ignore that he has played over 100 games in Serie A. It's not like signing a clown from Bumblefuck FC in the farmers division three because he did a good tackle in a Group F game, isn't it. /p>
CM: Jude Bellingham (England) There's absolutely no point in anyone being this good and grounded at 19. He is already a complete midfielder without any weaknesses and until he joins Liverpool or Manchester City and therefore necessarily finds himself embroiled in the poisonous tribal landscape of the Premier League, he will also remain universally beloved.
LW: Kylian Mbappe (France)He could be on his way to winning his second World Cup at the age of 23, which is just crazy. However, he is only aiming for his first Golden Boot and might not even win it. A little fraudulent, if you ask me. Also hasn't scored since the last 16, which is a bit Harry Kane of him, isn't it? Is it even good? Is it possible that he is actually crap? No. He is actually good. Let no one ever say we shy away from the spicy take.
AM: Bruno Fernandes (Portugal) Better than Cristiano Ronaldo for club and country. You would have to have a cold and dead heart not to laugh.
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It's time for the Team of the Tournament as the 2022 World Cup draws to a close, and this one is pretty straightforward. Only one rule - you can only select one player per country, which is bad news for Antoine Griezmann, Olivier Giroud and Julian Alvarez.
We imagine they are devastated.
GK: Andries Noppert (Netherlands) One of the best World Cup stories. A few years ago, 26-year-old Noppert was an out-of-work goalkeeper who couldn't get a second-tier game and considered changing careers to become a top cop. Still, a goalkeeping crisis at Go Ahead Eagles offered Noppert a chance, from where a move to Heerenveen followed and eventually, most absurd of all, a call-up to the Dutch World Cup squad. His international debut came at the World Cup, which remains remarkable despite that World Cup being the only World Cup at which such nonsense was at least theoretically possible. And he was great, in a Dutch team that… wasn't really all that. He faced 22 shots on target and saved 18. His five appearances at this World Cup account for more than 10% of his professional first-team appearances.
RB: Sergino Dest (USA) You always end up skimping on full-backs in these XIs, don't you? Underrated are the full-backs. We're not claiming that he uprooted several trees in Qatar, but he did well. Better than 'an all-season appearance for Milan on loan from Barcelona' you would think, but not as good as 'Manchester United urged to move for American star'.
CB: Josko Gvardiol (Croatia) Probably the best centre-back in the tournament despite being so thoroughly assaulted by Lionel Messi in the semi-finals. Not the first, won't be the etc. and besides the game was long gone. His composure and ability to read the game at just 20 years old would set him apart in any team, let alone old Croatian war horses. Scored a very nice goal in the third place play-off, which is a step up from a very nice five-a-side on Monday, but still.
CB: Kalidou Koulibaly (Senegal) Despite Senegal's exit in the round of 16, only one player has made more clearances than Koulibaly in Qatar, and this man is his central defensive partner in this team. Only six players have won more tackles than Koulibaly's nine. Five of these players have reached the semi-finals and the other is also in this team. No spoilers, but it was Jude Bellingham.
LB: Aziz Behich (Australia) Is it almost entirely down to a combination of the whole full-back and that run he made in the knockout stages against Argentina which ended as one of the great goals that never was? We prefer not to talk. I also had a bit of a row with Lionel Messi, which is a good story to tell people, isn't it?
CM: Sofyan Amrabat (Morocco)Completed the World Cup cycle in record time. From 'breakout star' to 'linked to everyone (well, Liverpool)' to 'Warning against signing player based on World Cup'. Of course it rather depends on whether you forget or ignore that he has played over 100 games in Serie A. It's not like signing a clown from Bumblefuck FC in the farmers division three because he did a good tackle in a Group F game, isn't it. /p>
CM: Jude Bellingham (England) There's absolutely no point in anyone being this good and grounded at 19. He is already a complete midfielder without any weaknesses and until he joins Liverpool or Manchester City and therefore necessarily finds himself embroiled in the poisonous tribal landscape of the Premier League, he will also remain universally beloved.
LW: Kylian Mbappe (France)He could be on his way to winning his second World Cup at the age of 23, which is just crazy. However, he is only aiming for his first Golden Boot and might not even win it. A little fraudulent, if you ask me. Also hasn't scored since the last 16, which is a bit Harry Kane of him, isn't it? Is it even good? Is it possible that he is actually crap? No. He is actually good. Let no one ever say we shy away from the spicy take.
AM: Bruno Fernandes (Portugal) Better than Cristiano Ronaldo for club and country. You would have to have a cold and dead heart not to laugh.
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