Self-confidence or narcissistic personality disorder?

Adewale has always been very charismatic and a smooth talker since his high school days. He was a charmer and seemed very sure of himself. Thus, several classmates often crowded around him. He had an opinion on everything and believed he was a genius. Even though his academic grades didn't quite match his impression of his own genius, nothing could ever shake his belief in his supreme genius. He explained it as the teachers envied his profound explanations which were deeper than their stupid brains could comprehend.

Over time, he developed a strong, cult following of devoted friends who expected his every word and statement and believed them all. They were taken in by his constant smile, his confidence, and the fact that nothing seemed to shake his confidence. Adewale reveled in their adulation for him and turned bitterly against anyone who dared question his authority or decisions. A few of them though, saw right through him and his character's bad streak. He became very manipulative and vindictive, whenever he lost a match or an argument and got angry. Apologizing and apologizing was not in his DNA. He could never be wrong so why would he apologize? What was that?

By the time he graduated from college and started working for a big company, he was set in his ways and convinced that the world didn't half appreciate his genius. He tolerated those who praised him and had no time for fools who did not recognize and bow to his superior intelligence. He was very condescending and rude to those below him in the pecking order at work or in any sphere of social interaction. Unless, of course, they praised him regularly, in which case he could tolerate them. And intermittently, he would also praise them, telling them that they weren't bad at all. In his perception, it was truly praise.

His co-workers and several ex-girlfriends found him to be very abrasive and eager for praise, otherwise he would become mean and very sneaky in his attempt to always have the last word. His understanding of teamwork was where everyone else on the team recognized him as the leader and agreed with his brilliant ideas. Anything else, and they just envied him.

Historical origins of narcissism

Greek mythology describes a story involving Narcissus, a handsome young man who rejected the advances of a young woman named Echo. She was devastated by grief and suffered in isolation for the rest of her life. The goddess of revenge, Nemesis, punished Narcissus by making him fall in love with his own reflection in a pool of water. He then suffered for the rest of his life until his death, while trying to get a reflection of himself to return love.

Thus, Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) describes a type of personality disorder in which there is an exaggerated and inflated sense of self-importance, and a desire to be seen as always right and to to be admired. But underneath that facade usually hides a fragile self-esteem, and they don't take kindly to criticism. Thus, their interpersonal relationships are full of problems related to social interactions such as romantic relationships/marriages, school life, work and in the community.

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They can be very manipulative in trying to get what they want and can even fake it for long periods of time. But sustained, close interactions will almost always cause the mask to fall and their true character to be exposed. This then results in an acrimonious separation or abusive behavior.

Signs and Symptoms of NPD

Grandiosity and sufficiency, always right. Persistent fantasies of success, power, attractiveness, intellectual superiority, or ideal love Feeling of superiority and being unique Want to be admired Strong sense of entitlement Manipulates and exploits others Lack of empathy Believes that others envy him Arrogant and dismissive attitudes and behaviors

Caution: Most people will exhibit one or two of these traits at some point, but that doesn't mean all of them are narcissists. They must have a cluster of most of these symptoms occurring together for a long time as an established part of their identity/personality. Additionally, the role models must be distressing to them or significant others in their relationships at work, home, or in the community. A formal diagnosis requires a full psychological evaluation by a mental health professional.

What if I'm a narcissist or know someone who is?

Personality cannot be changed but can be improved by ther...