Podcast Ep. 262: "I'm not ready/able for a relationship right now."

You meet someone, you get along brilliantly, you can feel something building between you. And then they say they can't be in a relationship because of everything they're going through. In this week's episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions, I return to the topic of what actions should match the words and why, when someone says they're not ready or can't forge a relationship, we have to believe it and accept it so that we don't break our hearts waiting for them to be available.

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5 key topics in this episode Even if that person has some interest in us, pumping the pauses on that possibility is, at best, an amber code alert that we need to stop, watch, listen, and ground ourselves. We must take our next steps with caution and awareness, because what we have in mind is different from what they have on them. We're not on the same page and so right now, although in our minds it's purely a matter of timing, we're not compatible. Mixed messages mean trouble. Unfortunately, we tend to focus on what works for us. When someone says what we want to hear even though their actions contradict it, we focus on the words. And when they do things that match the way we want to perceive things even if they say something contradictory, we focus on the actions. If someone says they're not ready for a relationship, believe them. They said it for a reason and may have shared those reasons. If you think you're getting mixed messages, seek clarification. Do they say things that create hope, that hint at possibilities, maybe while reminding you that they don't want a relationship? Or does continuing to spend time with this person and reading things give us false hope? When it comes to romantic relationships, we each have associations with what we infer as romantic interests and possibilities. for example. If we get along particularly well with someone, we might say that "the best relationships start with friendship." From there, we might assume that means we're meant to be together and live happily ever after. Waiting to see if someone will become ready, able, and available for a relationship, whether consciously or not, means holding on for something they haven't accepted and might not be ready for. Mentioned Links + Recommended Resources

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