What does it mean to be your husband's helper?

I have hired several babysitters for my children. Unfortunately, most of them seemed to have done their job half-heartedly, snagging their boots at the first sight of toddler tantrums. Then I hired Emma. A shy and quiet young woman with a warm smile. My babysitting problems ended the day she walked into my house. She adored my children and anticipated their needs. She was patient with them, never raising her voice against them.

After the mounds of disappointment I had been through, Emma seemed surreal. I had finally found a "suitable assistant" when it came to childcare, and I was thrilled. This experience made me value myself as a wife. I wondered if I had been a suitable helper to my husband. Did his heart swell with pride and gratitude when he thought of me? Did I make his life easier or did I weigh him down more? But what does it mean to be your husband's helper?

Who is a Helper?

"The Lord God said, 'It is not good for man to be alone. I will make him a helper suitable for him.'" (Genesis 2:18, NIV)

Being someone's helper means helping or accompanying them in order to make their life more bearable. Many wives disapprove of the title "helper", believing that it alludes to an inferior role, a stark contrast to the man who is portrayed as the leader. A little careful examination of the origin of the word help will help put things into perspective.

The original Hebrew word translated "proper helper" is the word "Ezer". Ezer is used many times when referring to God as a helper to mankind. It evokes power and strength and is not a subordinate role. It speaks of the ability to protect, save, save and help. So rest assured, ladies, your role as an assistant is not a petty and weak one. It will fan into flames the strength and grace with which you are endowed.

Here's what it means to be your husband's proper helper:

1. Sprinkle kindness into your life

"She does him good and not harm all the days of her life." (Proverbs 31:12)

During creation, God looked at everything He had made and declared it to be good. But when He looked at the man, something was wrong. Man's relationship status was the only aspect of creation that God considered "not good". Enter you, the appropriate help. It seems that one of your main roles as a wife is to inject "goodness" into your husband's life. The wife of Proverbs 31 does her husband good and not evil all his days.

"What good things?" you can ask. This mainly involves meeting your husband's needs and learning his love language. The best way to start trying to meet his needs is to ask him. But here is some help. In his book, His Needs, His Needs, Willard F. Harley Jr. outlines the 5 main needs of a man: sexual fulfillment, recreational companionship, a physically attractive woman, domestic support, and admiration. We'll discuss some of these needs in more detail as we move forward. But the main thing is to make sure that your presence in your husband's life adds great value.

2. It's praying for him

No one is better placed to pray for a married man than his wife. As a wife, you know her deepest fears and longings. You are aware of his goals and dreams. You know well the fears that keep him awake at night. Pray that God will perfect what concerns him (Psalm 138:8). Pray for his day, his work, his health, his protection, his peace of mind, his future, his spiritual walk and his fulfillment in life. Pray that he will keep things in perspective by seeking first the kingdom of God and his righteousness (Matthew 6:33).

3. It's encouraging and listening

Men are often plagued by paralyzing fears that they can only divulge to someone they trust completely. Guess what? You are their wife. Give your husband a listening ear when he needs to get rid of certain things. Do not push him or judge him; empathize with him and let him know that you will always be in his corner. Show him your support and encourage him when his plans fail. Let him know that you are praying for him and that there will be better days ahead.

4. It literally helps her