"What piece of turkey is that supposed to be?!" » I ate 12 Christmas dinners in 12 days – here are the best and the worst!

When we hear Roy Wood sing that he wishes it were Christmas every day, most of us don't think of the disappointing gifts, the endless advertisements for the DFS Boxing sale Day or fainting, sherry in hand, watching a Bond movie. No, we think of the good times - time spent with friends, family, peace to all men and, of course, food.

I love it so much a traditional turkey dinner I will eat one at every opportunity. It may not be good for me, but after over 40 years of practice, I think I've figured out how to keep the damage to a minimum. The average person is said to scoff at more than double the recommended calories on December 25, but that's surely more of a snack than what amounts to a bloated version of meat and two veggies. The secret, then, is to skip the vol-au-vents, mini sausages on cocktail sticks, mince pies and Quality Street, and focus on the main event.

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I should be in heaven right now as we enter the holiday season. Despite all the warnings about a shortage of poultry, almost every budget rotisserie-style restaurant has a traditional turkey dinner on the menu. But how good are they - and could I really eat Christmas dinner day after day? I spent the best part of two weeks finding out. Read on to find out who makes the best roasts and the most succulent turkey.

Day One: Wetherspoons

Sliced ​​Turkey Breast and Winter Vegetables

Four slices of turkey breast; pork, apricot and cranberry stuffing; carrots and parsnips roasted with chantenay; mashed mari piper; two pigs in blankets; peas; cranberry sauce; sauce. 997 kcal. £10.69 (with soft drink), £11.99 (alcoholic)

Where better to attempt to be the first man in the UK to eat a Christmas dinner that noon, mid-November, at my local Wetherspoons? There are plenty of other punters to toast. It's actually OK, until you realize it's served with mashed potatoes. It is such a heinous Christmas dinner crime that (like William Wallace) whoever was responsible for it should be dragged to the Tower of London, stripped naked, tied to an obstacle, dragged through the streets by horses, hanged, shot, quartered and his entrails cremated before him. And don't get me started on the complete absence of germs.Score: One in five germs

We dined at: The Holland Tringham, 107- 109 Streatham High Rd, SW16 1HJ

Day Two: Brewers Fayre

Festive Turkey