5 prayers for hard-to-love friends and family

The ultimate way we love our hard-to-love friends and family is to forgive.

Like Peter, we know that extending forgiveness is important for a follower of Jesus (Matthew 18:21). Perhaps, like Peter, we believe there should be a limit to the number of times we forgive a person. Yet Jesus told Peter that our tolerance for others should be limitless.

Jesus explained that because God has forgiven us, we must also forgive others. If we know God's forgiveness, then we know that we must forgive those who offend us. "Love," the Bible tells us, "keeps no record of wrongs" (1 Corinthians 13:5).

Pray as Jesus taught us: "Forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us" (Matthew 6:12).

Heavenly Father,

I have to admit that there are people in my life that I have a hard time forgiving. They hurt me, mistreated me and abused me. I don't think they deserve to be forgiven. But, Lord, I know that you are a just and benevolent judge. Empower me through You Holy Spirit to forgive so that I myself can be free from judgment and please You.

Amen.

1 Corinthians lists expressions of love: "Love is long-suffering and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not not irritable, and it bears no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice in injustice but rejoices when the truth prevails. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful and enduring in all circumstances" (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).

To love like this seems impossible. But, as these attributes seem to overlap with the fruits of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22, pray for the Holy Spirit to pour love into your heart.

As you say this prayer, substitute the name of anyone that comes to mind.

Heavenly Father,

Forgive my impatience with him/her. Help me be patient.

Forgive me for being mean to him/her. Give me another chance to be kind.

Forgive me for being jealous of him/her. Help me instead to express my admiration.

Forgive me for being arrogant towards him/her. Give me a spirit of humility.

Forgive me for being rude to him/her. Teach me to be respectful.

Where I asked for my own path, give me the opportunity to put it first.

When I've judged him, show me how I can give him a fresh start.

I ask all these things by the power of Your Holy Spirit and the love shown to me by Your Son, Jesus.

Amen.

As we try to follow God's command to love our friends and family members who are hard to love, remember that we are not doing it by ourselves, but by the power of the Holy -Spirit given to us through the work of Jesus Christ.

SourceGerald L. Borchert, John 12-21, vol. 25B, The New American Commentary (Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 2002), 100.

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