Cheap ways to say "I love you" for Valentine's Day

I don't like Valentine's Day: it reinforces the idea that romance is only for special occasions. Worse still, it's yet another commercial party filled with cards, chocolates, flowers and gifts. I reject the idea that romance is only for special occasions, and I reject the idea that buying things somehow demonstrates affection.

I think it's important for couples to find ways to express their love throughout the year. If you choose to celebrate Valentine's Day, don't feel obligated to give a dozen roses and a card - there are plenty of inexpensive ways to say "I love you". Here are a few:

love letters

Instead of a card, write a love letter to your partner. A mass-produced card is not as romantic as a handwritten note. I don't remember any of the cards Kris gave me for Valentine's Day, but I fondly remember all the notes and letters I received. It's a treat to sort through a pile of old papers and come across a note she wrote to me years ago.

Flowers

It can be fun to give flowers to your loved one, but think outside the box. Consider something other than roses. If your partner loves carnations, buy them carnations. If he likes irises, give him irises. Don't be a slave to the red rose mentality. In some cases, a live plant may be most appropriate. I bet Kris would be happier with potted tulips than a bouquet of roses.

love coupons

Use a word processor and clip art to create 8-12 business card sized "coupons". Each coupon can be redeemed for something the recipient will enjoy. You can create love coupons that your partner can use for a night on the town, a candlelight dinner, a movie of their choice, a weekend getaway, guilt-free time with friends, or, if you you feel particularly romantic, the fulfillment of your dreams. .

A second "first date"

The easy familiarity of a long-term relationship is a wonderful thing. But this familiarity can easily become a “rut”. Shake things up by pretending you're going on your first date again. Give yourself a college student budget and do the kinds of things you could have done when you were younger. Eat at the local burger joint or pizzeria. Go bowling or roller skating. Attend a free concert. Kissing in the last row of the cinema.

A dinner for two

Prepare a romantic dinner at home. Instead of spending $50 or $100 for a night out on the town, spend $25 to cook a special dinner with your sweetheart. Not only will you save money, but you will also share the fun of cooking together. Here is an easy and delicious recipe, perfect for a special occasion:

Port and Soy Glazed Beef Tenderloin (recipe by Caprial Pence, modified by J.D.)

1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil 2 (6-8 oz) beef tenderloin freshly ground black pepper 1 tablespoon unsalted butter 2 tablespoons of soy sauce 1/2 cup port

Preheat the oven to 400 F. Season the fillet heavily with pepper. (I grind up a few tablespoons of the stuff so the steak has almost a peppery crust - you might want to start with less.) Heat the olive oil in a large ovenproof saucepan over high heat until 'til it's warm. Add the fillets to the pan and sear well, about 3 minutes on each side. Put the dish in the oven and roast the fillets for about 6 minutes. Take the pan out of the oven and put it on high heat. (Place a potholder on the pot handle - it's hot!) Add the butter, soy sauce and port, and cook until it thickens and coats the back of a spoon, about 3 minutes. Turn the fillets over to coat them with the sauce, then serve hot. Drizzle with remaining sauce.

This recipe isn't exactly frugal - beef tenderloin is expensive - but it's restaurant quality and hard to go wrong with. Serve with potatoes and a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon. Dine by candlelight.

Private rituals

Each couple has a collection of private rituals and symbols. These silly phrases and routines are like glue for a relationship. When Kris and I were first together in college, for example, I picked up a horse chestnut in the quad. It was smooth and strong and beautiful. I liked it. On a whim, I gave it to Kris. "It's a nugget of love," I told him. "It's a reminder of how much you mean to me." For nearly twenty years, horse chestnuts have been a kind of secret code between us. I know it's silly, but I'd rather Kris give me a "love nugget" than buy me something new.

Saying "I love you" doesn't have to be expensive, no matter what marketers want you to believe. Love comes from communication, shared ideals and togetherness, not from buying things.

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