Can I date a non-believer?

I so want the answer to be yes.

Don't get me wrong. The man who courted and then married me is not just a follower of Christ. John also illustrates the love chapter, 1 Corinthians 13, on a daily basis. Get to know my husband and you will see how the description above fits him like a tailored suit. There's no way I would have nodded if John wasn't a Christian, to begin with.

Yet here I am, working hard to see if there might be a loophole that might sanction dating an unbeliever. It's partly because I hate to add even more bad rap about Christians or Christianity. But the main reason is that I don't want anyone to take God for a grumpy pooper.

At the same time, I won't do you any good by lying to you. So, can we talk about it? One tip to help you get through this article is to keep an open heart. (Especially if you're already dating an unbeliever.) Let's go over possible reasons why you might consider relaxing your standards when dating anyone.

1. Compromise

As the people of God, we are set apart for his use (1 Peter 2:9). For this reason, God draws a line around who we are allowed to marry: “Stop becoming an unequal yoke with unbelievers. What partnership can justice have with anarchy? What fellowship can light have with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6:14, ISV).

Dating is supposed to serve as a precursor to marriage. As such, dating a non-believer means that you approve of the possibility of sharing the rest of your life with someone who does not share your faith.

Which is a risky business.

As Jesus said, "Even if you acquired all the wealth and power of this world at the cost of your own life, of what use would it be? And what could be more precious to you than your own soul? (Matthew 16:26, TPT).

Compromises pose significant risks. Before compromising your convictions by stepping outside biblical boundaries, weigh things carefully.

2. Nothing serious

But maybe you're just having fun. Maybe you're not ready to settle down and are only in the market for free food. Flirt. What's wrong with dating a non-believer if that's your mindset?

A lot. Even if you leave with a pure heart because we all influence each other, dating a non-believer can make you adopt their way of thinking.

Here is how the Living Bible puts it: "If you listen to them, you will begin to act like them" (1 Corinthians 15:33).

Furthermore, someone who has little or no respect for the Word of God may wholeheartedly embrace unhealthy and destructive activities. After all, while Scripture serves as a compass for what's uplifting and what isn't (1 Corinthians 10:23), non-Christians don't necessarily see it that way.

A non-believer may consider everything fair game, regardless of the impact it might have on you. For example, what if your non-Christian date wants to top off the evening sexually? Mixing your drink with a dangerous substance? Force you to give up your moral beliefs?

Do you want to suppress your conscience and your sin for the sake of your date?

3. Loneliness

Do you feel lonely? You're not alone. Post-pandemic, 58% of Americans share your sentiment.

But if loneliness makes you want to date just anyone, think twice. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines a date as "a generally romantic social arrangement for meeting someone". But no romantic nuance is necessary if the goal is to cure loneliness. Adding romance to the mix, especially when the other party isn't a believer, is asking for trouble. At best, you could be heartbroken, and at worst, you could drift away from your faith.

You can enjoy a meal or a movie with another. Even keeping things strictly platonic.

4. Gospel meetings

Perhaps the person you are dating is not only knockout, but also caring. What if they don't confess Christ? You can evangelize them while dating. Right?

I have a cousin whose love story took this trajectory, so yes, this road can pay off. However, for every story of successful evangelistic dating, there are even more stories of Christians who lost their beliefs after dating unbelievers. In one case, a devout atheist married a Christian, and although the two retain their respective worldviews, their children and grandchildren are agnostic.

At the end of the day, the next generation is why dating an unbeliever is inadvisable. Malachi 2:15 explains it this way: "Did he not...