3 Ways to Make a Long Distance Friendship Last

My husband is a pilot and his career has taken us all over the country. We started in Georgia, moved to Colorado, and are now returning to our Southeast roots to settle in Tennessee.

I have made wonderful friends from each of these places, and they are the kind of friends that I want to continue to invest in. There is a God-ordained power in friendships, a spiritual undertow that draws us to those who may not always share our same views but still need what we can offer them (and vice versa).

However, if you're like me, moving from place to place, or your friend is the one who's packed up and moved on to another season of life , how can you stay close to them? When face-to-face conversations are no longer an option, is it possible to stay close? To share more secrets and silly stories?

In my experience, the answer is yes.

Last night I visited a dear friend from college who I hadn't spent time with since moving to Colorado. While I was on the other side of the country, she had her first baby, who is already over a year old. When I walked into her house, we sat on the floor between baby books and toys and chatted for three hours straight.

No discussions of weather or surface-level thoughts; we just discussed life and the seasons we enjoy and endure. Our conversations have been as deep, if not deeper and richer, than when we planned her wedding, when I cheered her on as she crashed law school, and when she and her husband struggled to start a family.

Next week I'm going to Atlanta to visit some friends I met in Colorado who are now moving to Seattle (as I pass through Tennessee). Turns out we'll both be within an hour of each other while our husbands practice for their next riding phases, so we're taking time to catch up.

It's not easy to make long distance friendships work, but it is possible and well worth it.

Let's look at three key ways to invest in long-distance friendships:

When you see a meme that reminds you of him, send the graphic to his phone. If you're not a cooking pro, but your friend knows what secret spice to add to your chili recipe, give her a call and ask her for advice.

When a place, smell, meme or activity reminds you of their friendship, let them know. As with most things in life, quality trumps quantity. You may not talk every day, but if you're consistent with letting your friend know when you're thinking of them, they know they're remembered.

And if there's one thing we all need, it's to know that others remember us, that our presence, though limited, has lasted in their lives. In a world plagued by anxiety, depression, loneliness and darkness, it's more crucial than ever to remind people that you appreciate them. By doing so, you are showing them the love of the Father who has shaped their being at the hand and who has a bright and hopeful future ahead of them.

Just as we should reach out to our friends when we think of them, the truth is that reality often makes this simple task difficult. Work meetings pile up, the kids' extracurricular activities fill the weekends, and all the other errands are concentrated in the window of time that suits them.

Life is hectic for all of us, and if we can remember that our friend is probably going through the same chaotic routine as we are, we'll be more likely to extend the grace when Facetime plans get pushed back or the texts remain unanswered for days and sometimes weeks.

If I can be honest, our culture has fallen in love with playing the victim, pointing fingers at everyone without examining themselves. But if we can stop looking for ways to feel sorry for ourselves and look for the reasons why our friends can't follow every plan, we might be less inclined to look for our friends' faults and instead focus on ways to offer understanding.

Of course, that doesn't mean we should stick to friendships that aren't, well, real friendships. Friendship is a two-way street that requires effort from both sides, but the effort, in human hands, is liable to fail and miss the mark from time to time. We cannot expect perfection from our friends, just as we cannot expect perfection from ourselves.

Take some time and space to decipher who your true friends are and especially note the ways you can practice patience, extend grace and offer empathy when you feel communication is unilateral. (Also, you never know what someone is struggling with in private. Perhaps an unusual silence on their side is the result of a battle they're facing. Could an encouragement card... .