Communication Fails: The Crazy Things People Try When Trying to Improve Communication

Everyone agrees...

Communication in a way that brings you closer to your spouse or partner is a good thing.

Communicating in a way that makes the important people in your life want to spend more time with you is always something you should want...

AND...

Communicating in a way that brings you more love, connection and passion is something you usually want more rather than less...

And yet...

Most people do the exact opposite of what will get them what they want in romantic (and other) relationships and then wonder why the "good feelings" fade away.

Here is what one of our teachers said that really touched us both in its truth and in its simplicity...

"Look for common sense, plain old fashioned common sense."

---Sydney Banks (From The Missing Link)

Here's what we saw...

Some people who are generally very smart in other areas of their lives do some of the dumbest things when interacting and communicating with their spouse or partner and then wonder why their romantic relationship is falling apart.

They just don't use the "good ol' common sense" that everyone has in them.

We've certainly been there in our own lives, so we know what we're talking about!

For example:

A woman wanted her mother to stop picking on her, but it always ended in a fight. She would end up blaming her for everything that was wrong in her life and the two would walk away frustrated and angry.

Another woman we spoke to thought it was a good idea to be "honest" and tell her new partner how awesome her former lover was and brag about everything he did. taught her to be great in bed. She then wondered why he was walking away when in fact he felt like he could never live up to his ex.

Another woman we spoke to wondered why her husband was "falling in love with her" when it hadn't been that long since she had revealed VERY private things he didn't want to reveal about him and their relationship at a party where a good friend of his mother was.

A man we know almost lost his wife of 14 years (and the mother of his children) because he started confiding in another woman and becoming emotionally close to her over their conversations lunchtime intimates that began by asking his opinion of some of the issues he was having at home. In the process, he stopped talking with his wife.

All of these people could be considered smart, but what they seemed to lack was something very simple...

The simple, old-fashioned common sense we all have!

If we all have this common sense, why are we sabotaging our relationships by not using it?

The answer is simple...

We allow thoughts of fear and judgment to keep us from communicating with our heart and connecting with those around us.

We allow the "should" or desire to have "right" to take over and respond from a place of fear and blame within us.

We don't listen to the other person, we really listen, and then we're open to finding ways we can both agree on.

Today, if frightening or judgmental thoughts arise, calm your mind and let your simple, old-fashioned common sense come to the surface.

Let your fears take a back seat.

Our common sense comes from that quiet place deep inside us and if we don't react instantly to situations, we can hear it.

If you do this, you will find so much love in your life that you will be amazed!

If you have a question about a certain situation in your life, ask it here...