From Office Evangelists to Superhero Parents: Seven Colleagues Every Hybrid Worker Will Recognize

The Superhero ParentFor many parents, hybrid working hasn't been the relief they hoped for. Yes, working from home may have reduced late childcare pick-up costs, but it has also seen parents snap at all hours of the day; confused colleagues frequently receive emails from them at 11:44 p.m. and 6:45 a.m. These exhausted moms and dads also spend most remote meetings on mute with an anxious eye on the door, fearing their video call will be screen-bombed by the cochlea-piercing din of their little tykes at all times. Observing the juggling has given more than a few childless colleagues food for thought.

The webcam refusenikPreviously, this person was an accomplished presentation giver, riffing in his own way at through proposals and bridges with all the oratorical flair of an Obama. But for some reason, they haven't become so familiar with the virtual world. Maybe it's the unforgiving camera angles, the demoralizing exhaustion of back-to-back calls, or they're just tired of staring at their own face for two years straight, but as soon as their webcam's green light flashes, they're watching it. turn off and fade to black. Everyone tries not to take this personally.

The Office Evangelist When the lockdowns hit their zenith in 2020-21, this fellow cabin advocate was so missed at work that he scented his home with an Eau d'Office candle while listening to keyboard clicks on a specially created soundtrack titled Sounds of Colleagues. Now that work has become hybrid, they're back in the office five days a week, bouncing from office to office, lamenting that working from home is detrimental to "office culture." For them, the office is a second home; an invigorating place full of endless Colin the Caterpillar cakes and the comforting hum of the air purification system. Put a futon by their computer and they'd sleep there if they could.

The Telecommuting Technophobe It's been two years since the pandemic hit, yet the Telecommuting Technophobe is still struggling with its technology. During virtual meetings, the group chat - inaccessible to telecommuting technophobes as they still can't locate the chat tab - is turned on with colleagues joking about their grimacing lighting, the fact that their face fills everything the screen as a plate, and last year's annual general meeting when they became a meme after getting stuck in a video filter that turned them into a talking pizza. Unfortunately, the hotdesking and meeting rooms of the newly reconfigured hybrid workplace prove equally confusing. IT has stopped taking their calls.

The Smug Sedentary The Smug Smuggler hides in the hope that he won't have to return to the office - even if it's only two days a week. And no wonder – every time they log on to meetings it's from their new high-end 'shoffice', with their pandemic-bought loot behind them (cocktail cart, gold-plated exercise bike; don't not travel saved them so much money). No amount of free coffee or days away from the local call center will ever entice them. pirated hybrid. No more Blue Monday commutes or long Friday afternoons, waiting for the clock to strike 5 p.m. for them; they now work a 3:2 schedule and have made sure their mandatory three days in the office run from Tuesday to Thursday, giving them what they like to think of as a four-day weekend. Working 9 to 5 has never been so enjoyable.

The First Baffled Workers They entered the working world during lockdown, and it took months before to see one of their colleagues from the neck down. Now they're in the office for the first time, and it's a shock to the system. They spent their first morning staring at their cords like a caveman staring at a smartphone. Since then, they've drifted aimlessly around the workspace, like they've just fallen out of a time machine, wondering why some people actively choose to sardonize themselves on public transport for two hours, to spend the day preparing copious hot drinks. and have endless "thermo-spats" on the office temperature.

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