Here Are 4 Common Passive-Aggressive Email Phrases People Really Hate

"Please advise us." If you use this phrase in your emails or work messages, chances are that the person receiving this message will feel bored reading it. This is the result of a recent study by the word game site WordFinder. The company combined data from Ahrefs and Google AdWords to find the most commonly used phrases in the workplace that sound passive-aggressive to those who hear or read them. "Please advise" came out at the top of the list.

The situations differ. But in general, if you have something difficult to say, it's wiser to say it simply, rather than using wording that others might consider passive-aggressive and which might frustrate or anger them. It's worth checking out the full list of passive-aggressive phrases (part of a larger survey of slang usage). These are some of the most off-putting.

1. "Please advise."

This sentence has a definite advantage. This implies that you are expecting information or an answer to a question that the recipient should have already provided. If so, a better approach would be to simply say that you need or want a response by a specific date or time.

If not and you're not looking forward to information you should already have, try something more friendly like "Let me know" or "What do you think? you?"

2. "Go back."

This is a phrase I often see in emails from people trying to pitch things to me, along with "just a follow-up," which also made it onto WordFinder's list of passive-aggressive phrases. most hated.

Here's the thing with the circles. Once you start going around them, you never get to the end. So "shop around" suggests that the sender will keep sending follow-up messages, over and over again, until they get a response. If this is really your intention, you must say so and explain why. Otherwise, choose a different wording.

Granted, if you haven't heard back from someone, it's hard to send a follow-up message of any kind without sounding at least a little passive-aggressive. At the same time, follow-up messages can be very effective, so you should send them. I myself appreciate receiving follow-up messages. Maybe I meant to reply but forgot, or maybe I missed seeing the original post.

When I follow up, I often use the phrase "in case you didn't see that". Seems like a better choice than "go back" to me.

3. "Friendly reminder."

There is nothing friendly about "friendly reminder". It's a phrase most of us have seen on letters after we failed to pay our bills. Please never use this expression.

If you need to remind someone of something, "please remember" to do anything would be best. Or, just indicate what you need. For example, "I still haven't received your report. Can you get it to me by Tuesday?"

4. "Thanks in advance."

I confess that I sometimes use this expression myself. This can be handy if you ask someone to do something you know for sure they will do and want to thank them for their help without having to send another email.

That's fine, but in any other circumstance, "thanks in advance" comes across as manipulation. This implies that since you are already thanking them, they are obligated to do what you asked. It's even worse if you're messaging someone who might not do what you asked and isn't bound to respond to your request. If so, don't thank the person prematurely. Instead, explain why what you're asking is important and tell them you'll be grateful (or even owe them a favor) if they do.

These phrases are bad enough on their own, but they're really awful if you combine them in the same email. For example, "I am returning here following my request from last week. This is a friendly reminder that I still need this information from you. Please let me know and thank you in advance." These three sentences made me c...