How the Resurrection Power We Celebrate at Easter Affects Our Marriage

He is risen. He is indeed risen!

Easter celebrates the pinnacle of our Christian faith, the risen Christ. We owe a debt to God for sin that we cannot pay. Jesus is sinless and perfect. He alone could take the sin of the world and die in our place so that we could have access to God through his blood. But His death is not the end. It's the beginning. His resurrection concurred with death! He is both Savior and Lord! He now reigns at the right hand of God. He sent His Holy Spirit to enable us to live victoriously, no longer as slaves to sin! If we believe in Jesus, our position changes and our daily submission to Him and His Word transforms us into His likeness. That's why we celebrate Easter!

Our conversion changes everything in our lives! The Holy Spirit changes what we value, our purpose in life, and our motivations, which affects our actions, our choices, and ultimately our relationships. Our faith permeates every facet of our lives. And one of the areas where the transformation within us will be visible is in the way we see and interact with our spouse.

Soulmates

I was on a plane sitting next to a man in his fifties. We started talking. He told me he was divorced and on his way to meet his girlfriend. They lived in different cities but met regularly in romantic destinations for the weekend. He said his marriage was boring, but his new relationship was exciting. I asked him if he was planning on marrying her, and he said, "Probably not because it would destroy what we have." Then he asked me if I was married. Honestly, I didn't know what to say after his story! But I briefly shared the relationship my husband and I have, our commitment to Christ and to each other.

He fell silent and then said,"You're lucky. You've found your soul mate."

I kindly stated that I don't believe in soul mates. Based on Plato's The Symposium, the myth says, "According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs, and a two-faced head. Fearing their power, Zeus split into two distinct parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other half." 1 So somewhere out there is the person, your other half, and if you find them, you will have an effortless and fulfilling relationship. He was basically saying, your relationship is easy; mine was hard. If only I had met my soul mate, my life would be different.

So I gathered my courage and gently explained the basis of a biblical view of marriage. That my husband and I weren't just naturally compatible, floating souls who, now that we've found each other, are happily experiencing transcendent love and romance! On the contrary, we work hard to submit to God through the Holy Spirit and to love one another as Christ first loved us.

He, like many, believes in this misconception that marriage should be easy and exciting or you married the wrong person.

We all marry the wrong person

If our goal is to marry someone who will make our lives easier and meet all of our needs, then we are all marrying the wrong person. No one can do this for another person. Many people caught up in our culture's unrealistic romantic promise end up deeply disappointed in their spouse's limitations. Ernest Becker calls it "apocalyptic romance". It is when we make our spouse the source of what only God can give.

In his excellent book, The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God, Timothy Keller explains author Ernest Becker's claim.

“At one time, we expected marriage and family to provide love, support and security. But for the meaning of life, hope for the future, moral compass and personal identity, we turned to God and the afterlife . Today, however, our culture has taught us to believe that no one can be sure of these things, not even if they exist. Therefore, Becker argued, something has to fill the void, and often that something is romantic love. We look to sex and romance to give us what we used to get from faith in God." 2

Romance has its place, but if that's the focus, our marriage won't live up to what God intended. Only God can meet our needs because He alone is perfect. When our lives are properly aligned according to God's direction, we find hope and meaning in our relationship with Him. Then, from this place of receiving God, we are empowered to love and serve each other in our marriage.

How does God give us strength?

He renounces His Spirit so that we can live as the Scripture indicates. And the life of Jesus is our example.

Easter lessons