How to Pray When Your Husband Feels Like Your Enemy

Of all the human relationships we experience, marriage holds the unique power to do and be so much in life. It fulfills our aspirations before we entered it. It forms the backbone of families and communities, making them strong or weak. It is a monument of worldly moments that all come together to create something that can, if properly nurtured, reflect the very heart of God. Because marriage has so much potential, it's also a big battleground.

All places of influence and importance in our lives have glowing red targets on them for the enemy of our souls to pursue their ultimate goal. In John 10:10, Jesus said, “The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it abundantly."

Our marriage will come face to face with the thief that Jesus warned us about. And there will be times when he tempts us so fiercely to see the battle as if it were against our bride rather than the thief himself.

The times when you feel like your husband has become the enemy, take heart and slow down your thoughts and feelings to better control your emotional reactions.

Here are five practical steps to focus your perspective on the truth when your husband feels like the enemy:

1. Protect your heart by removing unbiblical entries that influence perspective.

Social media, TV, movies, music, friends and family who express unbiblical discontent in your heart about your marriage should not have heart/mind space while you fight for your wedding. One could argue that they should have no place at all in the life of a woman who follows Christ. But especially at times when the temptation to view your marriage on such hostile terms is at stake, cut out those negative emotional influences.

2. Don't forget that your spouse could be facing the same spiritual bait to feel that you are his enemy!

So often the enemy of our souls turns us against each other just when we need to team up to defeat the real enemy!

3. Tell the truth to your heart about your husband and your marriage.

Instead of replaying the hurt, remember the blessings God has brought to your marriage and the good He has brought to you through your husband.

4. Pray for you and your husband!

At a particularly low point in our journey, I poured out my complaints to the Lord, and felt a deep conviction that I had let disappointments take my heart away from my once devoted and fervent prayer for my role as a wife, for my husband, and our marriage in general. No wonder this tough time got even tougher! We often talk about keeping intimate passion alive, but what about the passion of our prayers for our marriage? Are they diligent? Are they passionate? Are they pregnant?

Here are some Bible prayers that I use regularly to guide me in my own prayers for my husband and my marriage:

Lord, thank you for starting a good work in ________________________ (husband's name) and that you will be faithful to finish it! Please let me see your hand at work in the _________________ area. Give me the grace and faith that you work even when I can't see it. Help me to rest in Your faithfulness to work in both of us. Do whatever is in your heart according to your good pleasure in ______________________ (name of husband). (Based on Philippians 1:6 and 2:13.)

I pray that the eyes of the heart of ________________ (husband's name) will be enlightened that he will know what is the hope of your calling, what are the riches of the glory of your inheritance in the saints and what is the incomparable greatness of Your power towards him when he believes that You are. (Based on Ephesians 1:18-19)

Lord, remind my husband that he can do all things through Christ who strengthens him. Send your Spirit to encourage him today! And make me part of your encouragement plan for him. (Based on Philippians 4:13)

Father, please make my man the spiritual leader you want him to be. Give him the desire to rule our house, but also give him the heart to seek your word so he will have your perspective, your wisdom, and your guidance. Develop his understanding of Your Word and Your ways so that his walk with You will bring leadership and blessing to our marriage and family. (Based on 1 Timothy 2:11, 1 Corinthians 14:35).

Lord, please surround my husband with your favor as a shield. (Based on Psalm 5:12)