"I live with my adult children - what's wrong with that?"

Next week my third child, 18-year-old Jerry, is leaving for college, and although he's not the first of my four children to leave home, I frankly apprehend this. Like many other parents, this is a difficult time. We got used to living together during lockdown, and now that unit is being dismantled as a new cohort of young adults leave to study away from home.

And, besides, I like to live like that. I love everything about it. I love how close we are, how much fun we have. I love the fact that we play and eat together, and communicate on a level that I enjoy. And the older my kids get, the more I love them. I can talk to them about complicated things like emotions, politics, the environment, novels or music. I appreciate their contribution. It's refreshing to live with younger humans who potentially open up the concepts of different points of view to mine.

In fact, I intend to live like it's still a good time. I express this intention loud and clear because, over the years, people have passed a very strong judgment on my living conditions. It seems totally verboten to say that I really like living this way. The implication is that there is something deeply unhealthy about it.

I don't know why people are so upset. It's starting to bother me, especially since my eldest, Raymond, will be 26 in October. When I tell people that, some look horrified. Others ask me about when he moved, stating that maybe it's time for Leonard to leave too.

The unspoken accusation seems to be that I I'm somehow "wrong" by continuing to live with them, as if there were a written law that forces all children to leave once they turn 18. People keep starting to question me, saying, "When I was their age...

< p class="dcr-3jlghf">But, of course, times have changed. We all know how much it is expensive to live in now - most kids in their twenties don't have the ability to earn anything, but students are digging in with mold in the bathroom and ragged curtains.

< p class="dcr- 3jlghf">This was deemed acceptable during lockdown when kids came home by the dozens, but now I find myself constantly being lectured about how unhealthy it is, and why I won't let them leave, and why won't they let me go? this culture where children are expected to move out before they reach their third decade on the planet. The idea is that being independent is healthy - but is -he ? Living alone in a pit is depressing. Living in the family unit, where people support each other and everyone has their own independence but contributes to the bills, cooking, helping out, helping each other, seems a much better way to live.

In other cultures families live together and no we turn a hair. Children are raised in extended families, the elderly live with their adult children, and people think that forcing children out of the house is inhumane. In many cultures, children not only continue to live with their parents, but also work with them. I encounter this particularly in Italy and Greece, but I'm sure it exists in many other countries.

Closer to home, my older children contribute financially, which really helps me - they both have jobs. The money they would spend for a room in a shared apartment they spend to be in our house. This is especially useful now that fuel prices are biting. Although, of course, there is an argument that my fuel bills could be cheaper...