"Keir Starmer wins, whoever takes the Tory crown"

Which Tory prospect would Keir Starmer rather face? Pretty much any of them, says Fleet Street Fox

Happy happy, joy joy, happy happy, joy joy joy!" (

Image: PA)

Something strange has happened. Keir Starmer continues to laugh.

A search of the Mirror Photo Archive finds laughter to be the Labor leader's least favorite facial expression. He usually opts for bemused disbelief, as if a guest's dog just pooped on the living room's new rug.

But now he is constantly delighted. He can't keep the big grin on his face, in fact he's almost skipping.

He probably didn't use a crack pipe or discover opium. He's overjoyed, that boy, because the Conservatives' title race is made up of all the dumbest, dumbest people they can find.

It's like a sports day at school where you can see the bully come down on his ass (

Picture:

Matthew Horwood)

After spending two years nailing Boris Johnson jelly to the wall of Parliament, a delighted Starmer said this morning: 'Glad to see him from behind.' And it was no secret that even though the two men didn't like each other, Starmer actively hated his opponent, as only a lawyer faced with a liar can truly do.

Now the race has begun to replace the prime minister without upsetting the electorate about it, and Johnson has vowed not to back any of the candidates. At first glance, it's because his support would be the kiss of death, but the real reason is probably that he doesn't possess the necessary grace.

The real thing Johnson did to damage his successor's chances was to promote those who thought what Brexit needed was wishful thinking, and what Britain needed was three years of leadership from a man whose main skill was generating headlines that were never quite stood by the claims he made.

That means candidates with public recognition, a government record, a chance to donate to b...