Manchester United shaken by boffins and brains as Gareth Southgate develops 'complex'

Manchester United have been 'mauled' and the supercomputer have been left unimpressed, while Gareth Southgate has deep psychological issues that prevent him from picking the best English players.

Haal or nothing for NunezAndy Dunn very aptly writes in the Daily Mirror that Darwin "Nunez and Liverpool is obviously a work in progress but his runs are always smart and he has shown in the past that he is a good finisher". < /p>

‘But however many opportunities wasted against a deeply unambitious Rangers side, it was a step in the right direction for Nunez.

"You can forget the you-know-who comparisons, but Nunez and Liverpool will end up having a good game."

The title on the Mirror site?

"Darwin Nunez has taken a step in the right direction for Liverpool - but it's not Erling Haaland"

“Forget them”. Unless you want those sweet, sweet clicks.

Copy Cat's Cocoa Obviously the biggest story of Liverpool's win over Rangers was how Jordan Henderson ran behind Mo Salah as he took his penalty and the Mirror website gives the best view on their football website to this story:

‘GENIUS, JORDAN! Kop captain Henderson emulates Salah and copies the surge in a fun new role in Liverpool's penalty shootout. '

It's so "GENIUS" and "new" that the Mirror reported that James Milner was doing the exact same thing two months ago.

It wasn't a story then and it definitely isn't a fucking story now.

The odds against all hail the supercomputer. Also known as a naked attempt to rank high on Google for the powerful keywords "Premier League" and "Premier League table".

The Sun website has adopted this concept like a mother kissing her firstborn.

Let's start by checking Wikipedia for an accurate description of a "supercomputer":

‘A supercomputer is a computer with a high level of performance compared to a general-purpose computer. Supercomputer performance is usually measured in floating point operations per second (FLOPS) instead of millions of instructions per second (MIPS). As of 2017, there are supercomputers capable of running more than 1017 FLOPS (one hundred quadrillion FLOPS, 100 petaFLOPS or 100 PFLOPS)."

And long before 2017, such machines were used to calculate predicted Premier League tables, which seems like a perfectly reasonable use of all those FLOPS.

"Supercomputer predicts Premier League final table after Man Utd crippled by Man City and Arsenal win over Tottenham"

'Mauled' is excellent, by the way, and by no means hyperbolic for a football game that ended 6-3.

"MANCHESTER UNITED have been tipped to miss out on Champions League football AGAIN… although Arsenal could finally return to Europe's premier competition."

Well, MANCHESTER UNITED are sixth and finished sixth last season, so we're not sure we need a supercomputer to tell us they might be missing out on Champions League football.< /p>

"That's according to a supercomputer tasked with using betting market data and analysis to predict how the season will play out."

Oh. It's starting to look less like a "supercomputer" and more like a list of ratings in exchange for an SEO link.

“The boffins and masterminds at OLBG believe Man United are ready for sixth place and another season in the Europa League. »

Boffins and brains? Are these different job descriptions? Did they absolutely need both to write a ratings list? And a supercomputer?

Leave it to us at OLBG because we think we could save them a lot of money.

Complex situation One of the themes of this season has been the anger directed at Gareth Southgate for NOT CHOOSING ALL THE PLAYERS WE LOVE.

If it's not Trent Alexander-Arnold, then it's James Maddison.

Or both if you're the MailOnline, which claims Southgate has a 'complex with creative actors'.

Yes, the English manager has "a related group of repressed or partially repressed emotionally significant ideas which cause psychic conflict leading to an abnormal mental state...