My employee can't afford team lunches

Inc.com columnist Alison Green answers questions about workplace and management issues: from how to deal with a micromanaging boss how to talk to someone on your team about body odor.

Here is a summary of responses to four questions from readers.

1. My employee can't afford team lunches

I have a small team, two people plus me, and we all earn about the same (very good) salary. Occasionally we organize team lunches or social lunches. Due to the nature of our work (government), we are not reimbursed for these lunches. Depending on the occasion, I sometimes take the tab personally. However, one member of staff insists that they cannot afford lunches. He won't participate if someone else doesn't pay for lunch.

Should I get his part of the check back? Seems unfair to other staff and myself. Or should I ask him to budget for the occasional team lunch? I don't even know how I would start this conversation. Or should I just plan as usual and allow him to opt out? It's not a regular problem, but it prevents me from organizing team or group lunches. I guess it comes up three to four times a year.

I'm probably judgmental, but he smokes about a pack a day and can clearly afford it. Suggestions on how to handle this are much appreciated.

Green responds:

You should absolutely avoid judging what he spends his money on, because that's really none of your business. He can organize his budget as he wishes without being expected to spend money to participate in the work.

If you weren't the government, I'd say if you're hosting team lunches, the organization should pay for them. But you are the government, so that's unlikely to happen. However, you shouldn't have to cover everyone out of your own pocket. And others shouldn't have to shell out their own money to attend what is ultimately a professional function.

So, rather than any of your proposed options, I suggest another: change the structure for these lunches so that this employee can still attend. For example, what if you hosted lunches in your office and told people they could either bring their own food or order in, depending on their choice? I don't think it's a big deal if you do one a year like you did, as long as it can retire, but if it happens every few months I would look for ways to include it .

2. My employee is too rushed in early morning meetings

I manage a team of about 20 people. Employees meet 1 to 15 clients per week in our offices during scheduled visits. These appointments last a few hours and are taken between 8:00 a.m. and 4:30 p.m. In addition to scheduled staff meetings and their booked visits, we have a flexible schedule. It's not uncommon for people to arrive around 9am or leave at 3pm. if they don't have scheduled appointments, as long as they're still working their full-time hours for the week.

I have an employee, Mary, who rarely shows up until she has to. The other employees who have an appointment at 8 a.m. are there in time to organize their files and set up the meeting rooms before the start of the day. Mary rushes out the door at 7:58 a.m. and throws her jacket on her desk before walking briskly to reception so she can greet her client on time, and even then she is sometimes a minute or two late . I don't know how to approach this with her, but I think it's unprofessional to show up two minutes before you're supposed to start work, especially when she's meeting clients who are expecting her. Besides, she's a good worker, and it doesn't seem like her meetings are affected by her rushing in, but it still bothers me to watch this show twice a week. The days she doesn't have an advance reservation...