Chevrons of representation and inspiring bravery: Ranking the PR bullshit of PL clubs' kit launches…

It's that time of year when clubs try to sell their last piece of overpriced polyester. Here's how we ranked launches for bullshit and bluster…

20) BrentfordGood eggs that they are, the bees keep their home kit from last year. “Being part of the Premier League means that the income we receive from broadcast and commercial partnerships far exceeds the income we can generate from retail, so now is the perfect time for us to try something different without having a material impact on our income. " It's never going to happen.

19) BrightonBrighton are changing their kits - they have yet to be unveiled or released - but the Seagulls, through their sponsors, have launched a shirt recycling initiative which means 250 fans can get the new one jersey for free if they exchange an old one from the last 10 years, which will be donated to KitAid.

18) Fulham No new kits yet from Fulham but we can only guess it will be white.

17) Leeds UnitedFor Leeds, it has been easier to get new players than new kits this summer. It hasn't been unveiled yet and Adidas says it won't go on sale until next month - that's as accurate as it gets. "Due to unprecedented challenges over the past year, we expect to see a delay in the Leeds United 2022/23 match and training wear," the supplier said. Did they just forget?

16) ArsenalFair play against the Gunners, they have highlighted that £5 from every purchase of their new home shirt will go to the Arsenal Foundation. However, they couldn't let the bullshit lie with their new shirt, in 'iconic Arsenal red' - or 'red' for you and me - with a 'striking new collar with a lightning bolt design'. Although it's not referenced, we can only assume it's a nod to '90s Nike kits. Hard to be too snide, though, when a five of every shirt is donated to charity.

15) Crystal Palace Palace have only revealed their new away kit so far and, to be fair, we can't be too excited about their sales pitch. "The new white kit incorporates the club's famous red and blue colors in an eye-catching central stripe down the front of the shirt creating the effect of a painted canvas." All that is. Macron offers decent designs, with Palace having worn some nice shirts in recent seasons. Good for them; less for edgy little features like this.

14) West HamWest Ham's latest round of burgundy and blue is meant to "evoke memories of Julian Dicks, Trevor Morley and Ian Bishop" while "drawing inspiration from the iconic design worn by the winning team of the Billy Bonds promotion for 30 years since'. "Iconic" is overkill, but it's reminiscent of old Bukta gear, although it would look better with the BAC Windows logo rather than another online bookmaker. Although you can buy a version without a sponsor, you have the option of breaking out the fabric pens and drawing them on yourself.

Ranking 20 Premier League coaches based on job safety

13) Everton

"Everton's new 2022/23 home kit pays homage to the central element of the club's famous crest - the iconic Prince Rupert tower."

No problem with the premise of this, although you should look very carefully for the tower reference. And the ceiling of the "club" annoys us more than it should. Just like the new sponsor, another gambling company only two years after the club said that "in an ideal world" they would not have to take money out of the gambling industry. Needs must, apparently.

12) LeicesterLike Leeds, the Foxes have also had some problems with Adidas, but at least they have a shirt to reveal and just over 6,000 to sell before full stock arrives next month. It's a great looking shirt too, although Leicester have tried to hide the fact that it's a design with a bit of retro foxsh*t: "Combining features such as the prominent white collar and edging of the neck - synonymous with the Jimmy Bloomfield sides of the 1970s - and the popular "dynamic fox" made famous by Gary Lineker and Alan Smith in the 1980s, the home jersey bears iconic elements of jerseys from eras past."

11) NewcastleThe Magpies have kept their home shirt presentation simple and relatively free of bullshit. It has black and white stripes and it's not terrible to look at. It's the third kit that has garnered the most interest, a white shirt with green trim that's a not-so-subtle tribute to their Saudi overlords. Of course, the accompanying guff makes no reference to this, or even anything else. And the club has only tweeted about the new kit once. Nothing to see here, guys.

10) Nottingham for...