Snoring Was Ruining My Marriage - Here's How I Finally Cured Myself

What can we do for you today, asks the kind nurse in the sleep unit at a north London hospital. "Save my marriage, ideally," I reply. I'm just exaggerating a bit. My snoring means my cat is more likely to sleep in the same bed with my wife than me. Even my teenage daughter and her teddy bear are more likely to sleep with my wife than I am.

I am one of 15 million snorers in the UK, or 41.5% of the adult population. In fact, I'm one of the 25% of those 15 million who regularly snore and disrupt their partner's sleep. That is, if these snorers have partners, which seems a diminishing possibility given the misery they cause those who receive them.

Some nights during the past year, while the wife, daughter, cat and teddy bear are upstairs in bed laughing at something or the other, me - having been banished from the master bedroom - I descend sadly into the living room where I can snore without disturbing anyone. Can I have a boo-hoo?

"There's nothing more disturbing than lying there trying to sleep and all you can do is to hook up with your partner who is snoring next to you," says Dr Ellie Cannon, GP and holder of my favorite job title, campaign ambassador for a leading anti-snoring nasal dilator.

I have yet to contact the 3.75 million regular snorers to conclude on this point, but it seems very unlikely that they all sleep on sofas- beds. No doubt many do not have this luxury. More likely, millions of non-snorers, mostly women, suffer in silence. They lie there red-eyed and resentful as their snoring partners register on the Richter scale.

The fact that I snore is made more probably because of my gender. “Men are more likely to snore or suffer from sleep apnea than women,” says Pavol Surda, consultant ENT surgeon based at London Bridge Hospital. "It's because men have a bigger space at the back of their throat because they tend to have wider airways. When we relax, our tongue drops back and fills that space, but the more the gap is larger, the more likely you are to snore.

"In addition, men tend to have a higher proportion of fat around the neck, in the soft palate and in the upper part of the tongue, while women tend to have a greater fat deposit in the lower part of the airways. This is likely dictated by testosterone levels. Studies have shown that women with an overproduction of male hormones are four times more likely to snore. Estrogen and progesterone also provide protection against snoring and sleep apnea. Male hormones not so much.

So to sum it up: men are more likely to snore than women due to their bigger necks and bigger holes in the bottom of their throats in which their tongues hang out at night with potentially disruptive effects for bed partners. Unless I misinterpreted the data, heterosexual prenuptial agreements should therefore include clauses on optimal neck fat for men. data-spacefinder-type="model.dotcomrendering.pageElements.EmbedBlockElement" class="dcr-10khgmf"/>

But it's not just my gender that matters when it comes to to snore. My wife has noticed that my snoring has gotten louder over the past few years. Surda explains why: "As we age, our tongue and throat muscles begin to relax and weaken, which can restrict our airflow and cause us to snore." I am now 59 years old; in a few years the muscles of my tongue and throat will be, do you think, as helpless as a kitten in a tree. Which is grounds for divorce in my book. There is another option: "You can practice mouth and throat exercises to strengthen these muscles, which can help reduce your snoring." Right in front of you, doctor: I already play the clarinet, which makes me a formidable kisser.

I diligently did throat exercises that I found on line. I said each vowel aloud for three minutes several times a day, as if in homage to an invisible Henry Higgins. I placed the tip of my tongue behind my upper front teeth and, for three minutes a day, slid my tongue back. I closed my mouth and pursed my lips, holding the pose for 30 seconds.

I even opened my mouth and moved my lower jaw to the right and held the pose for 30 seconds and repeat the exercise on the left. I advise you not to do it on public transport. Again, with my mouth open, I tensed the muscle at the back of my throat, while looking into a mirror to see my uvula move up and down. Who needs Netflix? All very entertaining. But despite these exercises, I was still snoring. Could anything cure me?

My father was a heavy snorer. That may not mean that...