So you decided to quit drinking? I did - and these are the lessons of my year

At first, ankle deep, then wading deeper and deeper, a surge of waves crashed into my thighs as I leaned against the tug of the tide. My friends were on the beach, rolling out towels and applying sunscreen. I didn't have time for these chores. I wanted the ocean.

I had never been to a tropical island, let alone the Caribbean. It was also my first sober vacation with my four best friends from college, a friendship that has lasted 20 years. I had stopped drinking seven months earlier, when the days were short and dark. The season had seemed like a fitting game to confront a settling of scores with alcohol that had been brewing for decades.

Now it was spring and I was at thousands of miles from my home, where the snow still lingered in the high country. Although we were well past the infamous antics of our college years, this joint 40th anniversary celebration held the potential for nostalgia-inspired fun and that usually included booze.

I was nervous before my trip and confided in my husband. What could be worse, I thought, if I drank a glass of wine at dinner? Wouldn't I feel out of place with my friends who had known me as the wild child – would they still love me? Would a single piña colada hurt?

Very few topics of conversation are forbidden among my friends and alcohol was no exception. It was part of the pre-trip planning conversation, mixed with group text messages about flight coordination and hotel booking. My friends knew I was no longer a drinker, and Claire called me from the Dominican Republic, where she now lived with her family, to assess my comfort level with staying at an all-inclusive resort and the readily available supply of alcohol.

If this call had taken place earlier in my recovery, I would have felt much more uncomfortable. Instead, I was grateful. Thanks to months of addiction-focused group therapy and a concerted effort to untangle the hold that alcohol use disorder had on my life, I now felt less vulnerable to discussing any potential triggers that would lead to drinking. With my kids screaming in the background, I told Claire I appreciated her thoughtfulness. Claire ended the call saying, "I'm so proud of you, Maggot." Claire's invocation of my endearing but antagonistic nickname from college made me feel so normal. An affirming joke from someone who has known me so long and so well.

For the most part, I could float above the waves of temptation during our stay on the island. Every morning, I got up early and walked on the beach, savoring the solitude and my discoveries. If a few of our group chose to go to a bar for a beer after dinner, I didn't object but didn't join them. I did not feel excluded or despised. One night we all decided to go dancing, and I didn't need a beer or a shot to do it. Sobriety strengthened my connection with my friends. There was no shortage of laughs, amusing or inappropriate jokes and the support my friends gave me helped my resolve. , agrees that a strong and tolerant social network is integral to sobriety. “Sobriety will only last if a person can find a social circle they connect with. If you feel isolated, you won't be successful in sobriety.”

Sobriety "Sober-curious" or "mindful drinking" are now colloquialisms; Sober October and dry January are popular trends. While problematic drinking was once stifled or relegated to the margins of polite, confined conversation at anonymous gatherings often held in church basements, abstaining from alcohol is increasingly destigmatized. But it still requires a willingness to go against the grain.

Country singer-songwriter Margo Price published an essay in GQ in March 2021 about her decision to quit drinking after so many stressors caused by the pandemic, including her canceled tours Relying on alcohol to soothe the weight of the cybe the intimidation or uncertainties of a musical career was no longer enough. She wrote that although she believed she was in control of her drinking and intended to take an extended break...