What your therapist does not tell you

What does your therapist don't tell you

A dozen advisors on what it's really like to sit in the other chair.

Some things they just can't say to your face

"I absolutely have to repress my instincts and get out of 'me mode' sometimes. …

… Maybe from my own perspective, I'm like, "Yes! Break up with that person! Run as fast as you can!" from a therapeutic point of view, I have to empower them to make that choice. I only see a person for an hour a week, and I may not have the full picture, so I shouldn't be making decisions for someone else. It comes with practice. Honestly, sometimes you really want to jump up and be like, "Don't do that." — T. Rochelle Tice, L.C.S.W.

“I need to pee so badly. Clients don't realize that we have five minutes between sessions and sometimes it's impossible to go to the bathroom. » —Jessa White, L.M.H.C.A.

"A client once asked me to write a letter of emotional support for her pet hedgehog. It's outside my wheelhouse, and I refused. She was so upset that she stopped coming to therapy. — Han Ren, Ph.D.

"What's her husband's name again?" I have trouble remembering names no matter how hard I try. » —Jenn Hardy, Ph.D.

“I suck as a therapist right now. » — Shani Tran, L.P.C.C., L.P.C.

It's it's personal

"I work with many Asian Americans looking for an Asian American therapist. I feel - and other therapists of color that I know feel it too - like we share more of ourselves in the room When a client says they are struggling with shame or guilt from a parent who constantly pushes them, I share that I can relate to that, because my mom was also very tough. I only share things that feel a bit down to earth, not emotional things that might hijack the session. — Thien Pham, L.M.F.T.

Your wildest confession is their 9 to 5

"I work with couples and have seen a lot of truth bombs go out. Once you build the safe space with clients, you get a lot of super intense moments - people slapped their partners, or decided to break up during the session, or exploded and stormed off - and you just have to keep it together.There were quite a few times someone had an unexpected outburst and I'm just sitting there, inwardly like, 'What? Did they just say that? OK, we can't react, we can't react. …”' — T. Rochelle Tice, L.C.S.W.

Therapeutic talk is out of control

"Over the past five years, I've noticed a vocabulary going into the therapy session, which people seem to pick up online. …

… We've normalized going to therapy and consuming mental health content — pop psychology has entered the chat! - but there are drawbacks. Young people hear a lot of messages about anything that is "trauma". I think it's really risky. I am not in favor of expanding the clinical definition of trauma, because of the possibility of looking for trauma in places where it may not exist. And I feel like people are also becoming more limited, moving into that kind of cancel culture. Sometimes people think cutting off others is self-empowerment, and they might be right. But sometimes you can have a conversation with someone and let them know they're upsetting you, and work on it to have a stronger relationship as a result. I think people lose those social skills involved in breaking up and mending. — Jacquelyn Tenaglia, L.M.H.C.

"There has been a large pool of teenagers who know the therapy topics - but a very...