You be the judge: should our daughter pay more for heating bills?

The charge: Lillian

Abigail secretly turns on the radiators during the day while we're away. But we are trying to keep costs down

My daughter Abigail recently came home with me and my husband, Rich. Although I love having her with me, she is a little demanding with the central heating.

We try to keep costs down, but she constantly drives them up. We set the heating to come on every day at 6 p.m. when Rich and I get home from work. But she moaned about it and said, "Mom, it's still cold." This house is like a prison. She's a graphic designer and works remotely from our home, and always wants it to be warm, even in the winter.

We had a few fights. A few times she's turned the heat on all day, only to turn it down a few hours before we get home in hopes we won't notice. But we weren't born yesterday; we can tell when we walk in and feel the temperature.

Rich sometimes came home early and found the radiators hot. Abigail's defense is that she works from home and needs the heating so she doesn't freeze. I told her to wait until January, when it gets really cold, then she can start turning on the heating in the late afternoon. I also think Abigail might go to work in her office or in a cafe if she doesn't like the house rules, but she says I'm "kicking her out".

I now have a smart meter that allows me to see how much we spend on gas throughout the day. If Abigail is home with the heat on and using the oven to heat up her breakfasts, I can track that. It sounds a bit anal, but I had to install it because it was sneaky, and the rising cost of living means our gas and electric bills have gone up dramatically, like everyone else's.

In Abigail's old place, the rent included utilities, so she's not used to worrying about heating. She just cranked everything up when it was cold. It won't wash away in my house and I told her to be more aware. We charge her a minimum rent – ​​£300 a month – so she can save to move again next year, but in the winter I'm considering raising it to £375 just to cover extra gas costs. I don't think that's unreasonable.

Defence: Abigail

I work from home, so I need to turn on the heat. I feel like an evicted tenant in the cold

Mom and dad love to complain about my use of the heating, but I think it's is a bit exaggerated. We have radiators installed for a reason, but they freak out when it's time to use them.

The central heating is supposed to be on when we need it, but they have this militant schedule where everything is timed. If I deviate from it by turning on the heaters on the weekends, or when it's just me at home, they go crazy. I work at home more than them, so it makes sense that I should stay warmer.

My mother forbade me to turn on the heating until the temperature drops to zero degrees in the morning, but I'm cold now. Sometimes I turn it on when I'm home alone, but turn it off before my parents come back. But somehow they still notice. My dad puts his hand behind the radiator and says, “A-ha! I knew it,” and my mom started yelling at me, saying I was selfish. They suggested I go to work in a cafe, but I don't see why I should be kicked out of my house. I feel like an evicted tenant during the cold weather.

I was in a roommate before returning home, but it ended because the landlord was selling and I couldn't find anywhere else affordable in my area. I know the heating and the bills went up, but I guess I didn't have to think about it much before as the rent was all inclusive.

I saves moving again but with the price of rent in London it will take me twice as long if they make me spend my salary on overpriced sandwiches in a cafe when I could just work from home.

I know that I'm lucky my rent is only £300 a month but it would be nice if that wasn't used against me every time I turn on the heating. I get on very well with my parents and I'm in no hurry to leave. I think it's a bit silly to panic so much about pennies on the smart meter and rationing the heating. We are not w...