6 Ways to Heal When a Friendship Ends

Friendships matter. Our friends are there to hold our hand when life gets tough. They make us laugh. Your memories together are a treasure that you can keep for a lifetime. When those special people you call friends leave your life for one reason or another, it leaves a hole.

A friend with whom I shared many years of motherhood left my life in a way unexpected not so long ago. We had spent endless mornings sympathizing at the park, weekends together trying to recover to better love our families, and even sharing a tattoo to formalize the friendship. But life comes with many unexpected detours, which have taken us to different places lately. The funny thing is, even though I've accepted the need for change, my mind and body are still mourning the loss. She visits me in my dreams. I often consider what might have been had the road between us been a little different. My prayers often include him because even though we are far apart, I will love him forever.

Sometimes it's easy to think that a friend can come and go without making us cry, but that's not the truth. The place that friends occupy in our lives is deeply important. It is our source of joy, community, support and love. We need friends! I'm learning to process my own sense of grief as I move on without someone I loved in my daily life. Here are some ways to find healing when dealing with the end of a friendship:

1. Acknowledge your feelings

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There can be so many complex feelings we face when a friendship ends. Often this happens because there is some sort of estrangement or lifestyle change. It's hard to process all the reasons why a friendship is over. Give yourself the grace to recognize all the crazy feelings in your head. That doesn't mean you have to cling to those emotions; acknowledging them is a way to deal with them so that you can eventually let go of the negative feelings you may be struggling with. Find a trusted person in your life to share how this loss affects you and share this burden with another.

2. Pray

Pray for healing if there has been a rift between you and your beloved friend. If you just can't be in the same space as the other person, but there's no hard feelings, keep praying for that friend to keep holding them close and supporting them through distance. Pray that God will help you graciously process your hurts and losses associated with the situation so that you can navigate all future interactions with grace, love and mercy.

3. Live above reproach

Sometimes friendships end because you hurt each other. These wounds may be deep, but God calls us to live above reproach. It means that we give up our right to have the last word, to justify our bad behavior or to take revenge. We must allow God to be the arranger for us. Trust that he is still working in both of your lives and that he will find ways to teach you through this ordeal. It's hard not to want to defend yourself when you feel wronged, but that's not our job. It is up to God to take care of our hearts and condemn those who have hurt us.

4. Offer forgiveness

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Let forgiveness be part of your story. Although distance is a must in your friendship in order to maintain health, do not let bitterness rise in your heart. We can offer grace and forgiveness for ourselves and for others. It's our job to let our friends know that we're not here to hold grudges. We can move forward in peace and leave no space for the enemy to plant seeds...