My gums were swollen and I had tried everything… I rinsed my mouth with oil. No dice. I went to a specialist to re-process an old root canal. It didn’t work. I have a crown. However, my gums were swollen. Tender. Beat.
Trying to ignore this situation, I sat down with God. A moment of inspired Bible reading would bless me, I was sure, but even so, my mind wandered…
I can’t solve this problem.
What should I do?
I have a problem that God can’t seem to solve.
Soon after, my fingers pulled my phone out from under my newspapers and my thumbs tapped. I was frantically searching for a variety of new and yet to be found solutions…
Certainly, at that moment, the lack of my great need was not being filled by God, but by a painful pressure to figure things out. I could do it!
We can’t really rest until “the problem” is fixed, can we? Or rather, that’s the lie we tell ourselves anyway.
We can’t spend time with God until the kitchen is cleaned, or the work is finished, or the kids behave better, or we handle x, y, and z. We can’t really do ministry until we agree. We cannot truly love our husbands until…
It’s funny though. In retrospect, I believed a lie…
The lie was: I could manage my future.
The implication was this: I wasted time with God.
The truth is that there is only one true Manager in my life. He alone is named Savior – Jesus.
The irony is that the molar was recently pulled out, leaving a huge gap in my mouth.
Indeed, I have lost God in this time span, just as there is now a huge space in my mouth. It’s funny how things happen sometimes.
Still, I won’t miss this gap just yet, my friends. Because there is a “learning gap” there that I can fill. A vast and blessed space where wisdom surfaces and life change occurs. And I will accept it with you, dear friend.
Because, here, in this “learning gap,” I remember that I am neither the repairer, nor the controller, nor the manager of my future. Better than being a manager, it’s pure abandonment.
Surrendering feels like staying with God, even when worry goes left and right and stress tries to take me up, down and all around. Because trusting Him is more important than understanding everything.
Wait patiently for the Lord.
Be courageous and courageous.
Yes, wait patiently on the Lord. (Ps. 27:14 NLT)
Trust the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight. (Prov. 3:5-6 NIV)
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a determined faith
Kelly, a fun, active, and spunky mom to two rambunctious toddlers, spends her days pushing swings, changing diapers, and pursuing the Lord with all her heart. Called the “Cheerleader of Faith,” Kelly’s greatest desire is to help women live passionately, purposefully, and unhindered for the Lord.
