"After banning strikes, the government could ban workers from being angry"

This government has many other plans to improve efficiency. Soon nurses will have to bring their own beds and patients with transplants will be asked to do the surgery themselves, writes Mark Steel

Nurses and supporters gather to demonstrate outside St Thomas' Hospital (

Image: Getty Images

Public sector workers who want to protest should not be allowed to disrupt our lives by going on strike.

Instead, they should do it in less boring ways, like going to work without combing their hair.

That is why their strikes must be made illegal, although they are still allowed to express their displeasure, going to the work canteen once a month and sighing.

Another problem destroying our services is that so many people in these jobs are leaving. For example, nurses say they can earn more money working in a supermarket. So this should also be made illegal.

If a nurse gets a job at Asda, she should continue to give bed baths to patients while they are at the checkout.

Second, we should take away the right of public servants to be sick or die. Just because a train driver has been cremated, there's no reason his coffin can't be wedged into the front of a train to ensure the public can still get the 7.55 up at Bristol Parkway.

Striking Southeast Coast Ambulance Service (

Picture:

Adam Gerard/Daily Mirror)

This government has many other plans to improve efficiency.

Soon nurses will have to bring their own beds to avoid the NHS having to pay for them.

Patients having transplants will be asked to perform the operation themselves, and they will be able to order the organs online.

So you'll get a liver from Amazon, which will leave it under a flowerpot if you're not around to pick it up. Ambulance service will be sold to Uber so if you have a heart attack you will type in the zip code of the hospital and then wait for a message that says, "Ambulance...