Anxious attachment style: causes, symptoms + 5 ways to cure

Do you feel especially stressed and anxious when you start a romantic relationship?

I understand.

It's scary to enter into a new relationship with someone. Someone who will not only demand intimacy with you, but who may betray your trust.

But would it surprise you if I told you that there are a large number of people in the world who do not feel fear or anxiety when they get close to someone? 'a or engage in a new relationship?

Yes. These types of humans exist, and they're not the anxious type, they're what we call "securely attached" people.

But those of us with an anxious attachment style have a very different quality of life than those of us with a secure attachment style.

We have quite a challenge. Let me explain.

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What is the anxious attachment style?

Anxious attachment style describes a typical emotional state or pattern you experience in your relationships with others, especially when you become close to them and experience intimacy with them.

You can think of the anxious attachment style as a balance your nervous system has developed since childhood to relate to others.

As you've probably guessed, this "balance" is not one of ease with relationships, but rather one of alertness and stress.

If you have an anxious attachment style, also called an anxious and preoccupied attachment style, you will experience more stress and confusion when you get close to others.

If privacy is required of you, you can:

feeling nervous Shut your mouth Not wanting to trust the other person Push them back; and Suppose the relationship will fail

But one thing should be clear here: not everyone who thinks they have an anxious attachment style has that specific attachment style.

Many anxiously attached people also have avoidant tendencies, and it's also possible that you'll veer into disorganized attachment territory.

If you want to be sure of your own attachment style (and get a clear and in-depth analysis of your main specific attachment patterns), we have a very special quiz that will do that for you.

It's super fast, and there are only 10 questions…

QUIZZ TIME: Anxious, Avoidant, or Secure Attachment Patterns? Which do I have? CLICK HERE to find out with our 10 question quiz specially designed for women!

(Why is this important? It's because your fundamental attachment style largely dictates and influences what happens in your relationship, so it's imperative that you understand your fundamental attachment style!) What causes the anxious attachment style?

The cause of the anxious attachment style, in the simplest sense, is insufficient education during infancy and early childhood.

Specifically, you may have had a mother or caregiver:

Incoherent to answer you May have "tried" to be there for you, but failed to quite match the intensity of your needs with an equal intensity of care and investment Emotionally unavailable or "outcast" sometimes Simply not motherly enough or sensitive enough to your emotional needs

As babies, we come into the world very vulnerable, sensitive and emotional.

The job of our caregivers, if they want to provide us with a secure attachment style, is to:

Drop everything for 1-2 years and prioritize responding to you and your needs